Opinions please.....
I have a newish friend of a couple of years standing, who I like a lot. Very funny, quirky, we have a shared, uncommon, interest and on this we really hit it off and see eye to eye. It'not cycling, golf, cosplay, or swinging, before anyone suggests these 🤣. It is a niche academic subject and there are few of us in this profession....
Recently I've I've noticed something quite odd about him, though. He will make potentially put-down-y type comments .. examples:
One: I send him some music that I really like, we do this often. He replies along lines that it's not his thing, then he tells me in person next time I see him that he "doesn't like it". Ok, fine, maybe I am too English... and music is a funny and very personal beast .... seems a bit blunt but I'm not a snowflake. Same thing happens a couple more times. He really wants me to love his choices, though!
Two: bought something that i loved and was so happy with, total bargain (think technology) which he would also have an interest in. He asked to have a go and then pointed out its faults, minor, all true, but I felt almost like he was trying to piss on my chips and it annoyed me. There is a money issue here also, in that he is on the bones of his ass for various reasons, and I have a well-paying, secure job. I felt he might almost be a bit jealous.
Three: We went our for a night in a group, all very jolly, had a bit (a lot) too much to drink. He wanted me to dance. I said no. He tried to drag me up. I said no again. He persisted and eventually had to tell him quite forcefully to back the f* off. He told me he was "not impressed". I told him that he could get lost and I did not have to impress him, went home and thought whattt...?! Again, I cannot imagine other friends behaving like this. Put it down to the drink, he is usually very gentle.
Four: he was talking about an exes' (now) husband and said he "hated" him. I found this really quite odd. Why would you hate the new partner of your ex, who you have never met? Just because they got the girl and you didn't??
I want to cut him some slack as he had a very, very unusual and quite straightened, very religious upbringing and has essentially been cast out by his family for leaving the faith.
On the other hand I think I cannot be arsed.
Disclaimer: i have a (now) over-sensitive male fuckhead detector owing to past issues but am trying hard to deal with these.
I now have some male friends which has been a revelation but.. ach, I already know the answer to this one. Phase him out, right? Damndamndamn.