Bil doesn't like my dh.

[Izzabellasasperella]

It has become more and more obvious that my bil(sister's husband) really doesn't like my dh. We were at a party last night and he would not speak to him and just looked so grumpy every time my dh was near him. He was fine with me and others there. This has been going on for a while but as we don't see him very often we kind put it down to various other reasons, although once in our car dh was trying to talk to him but he was very abrupt, one word answers just trying not to talk to my dh really.
My dh is a lovely man well liked by our friends and family, including my sister.
My question is should I ask my sister what the problem is?

Yes. Ask her.

He fancies you ...

Is it any love lost?

Ha no he definitely doesn't fancy me, we get on ok not much in common but we were laughing and joking together last night. Dh and my sister were chatting away too but I know bil is not jealous about that.
It's just so odd and looking back it's been going on for a while.
What does love lost mean?

Why didnt u ask him what his problem is?
I hate people like this

Ask your sis.

Cant believe you havent asked already.

I know one of dps brothers doesnt like me. He doesnt like dp either. I asked the other siblings. They thinks its jealousy, apparantly they never got on and that brother hates it when dp is happy.

Neither me or dp really care.

I couldn't ask my bil we don't really talk about much and I think he might deny it.
Hopefully my sister would be more honest.
I haven't asked before because when dh mentioned it I just said he was probably tired, in a mood or having to stay sober as the designated driver.
There is no denying the dislike now though. Dh says he's not bothered but I think he is a bit. I really want to know though.

Maybe your DS fancies your DH (or your BiL thinks she does), or he's jealous of him for some other reason. I'd ask your DS.

Is your dh successful etc? Or maybe there's a personality clash? Is Bil otherwise nice with everyone else? But yes, ask your sister because it could be a misunderstanding and easily rectified

I'm not overly fond of my BIL. Does it matter if they don't get on?

I'm civil to my BIL but we have nothing in common and if he didn't live with my sister I'd have nothing to do with him. I see this as normal though, it's a bonus if you like your sibs' partners but I don't expect to like them. My sister and I have very different taste in men. That's OK.

Maybe he knows something about your DH
Or he has been offended by your DH
Ask your sister

If you don't see a lot of them, I would not make an issue of it. Just ignore it. He may want to be asked why he's sulking so he can moan about some perceived slight- in which case definitely don't give it airtime. Is what he thinks that important?

Probably Alpha Male nonsense, if everyone else likes your H. You can ask your sister, but I’m not convinced you’ll get an honest answer. You need an emotionally intelligent observer who isn’t over-involved. Teenager? Aunt? Family friend?

Thanks for all your replies.
I see my sister a lot, bil not so much so it's not too much of a problem. His dislike is so bloody obvious now it's going to be awkward when we do meet up though.
I am very curious as to why though. They used to get on ok, very different people but my dh can chat to anyone😀
I have asked my adult niece but she hadn't noticed!
I'll see my sister later in the week, I'm definitely going to ask her, whether I'll get an honest answer who knows.
I'll come back and let you know😀
I'm seeing my

No one is universally liked. People just don’t like other people sometimes — is it that important? I don’t much like one of my SILs. If her husband kept trying to find out why by directly asking me, I’d be irritated. And what am I supposed to say — ‘I don’t like your wife because she’s a prissy, joyless fun-sponge’? Is that going to improve the situation, when presumably he then also gets offended on her behalf?

Families are tricky sometimes. Dh and his brother dont get on and havent since they were teens. I dont much like his partner, although I'm nice to her. That's when we see them. We dont see them very often.

I think when it comes to family, you tend to be civil even if you dont particularly like them. It's just nice not to be rude.

If it bothers you so much ask your SIL

I think bil partner knows I dont like her but we "get along" for the sake of happy families

I'd say that because they used to get on then something has happened/changed, something may have been said that the other didn't like. Just ask your BIL. Your sis might not know or want to say.

we get on ok nowe get on ok not much in common but we were laughing and joking together last night.

I would tell DH that it's now obvious BIL doesn't like him so that DH can stop making an effort with the h the rude twat. I would also stop laughing and joking with BIL and avoid double dates.

You need to stand up for your DH here.

The BIL doesn’t have to like your DH but he does need to stop being so rude. Not speaking to him is pathetic behaviour for a grown man. Stand up for your DH, stop joking around with the BIL- think about how that must make him feel! And ask your sister what his problem is.

Agree that if they used to get on then something has happened to change that.

Does your DH seem interested in finding out why Bil dislikes him or is he telling you to leave it?

Yep ask him out right. You dont have to like him back either