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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've just seen him on Tinder

4 replies

FirTree31 · 20/07/2019 19:15

And I have no right to be upset. We broke up, but still very much in touch, I've been honest with him about the few dates I was on last year. A few month ago he declared his undying love for me, told me he wanted us to get married and move in together, gave me constant attention. At first I was very put out by all this as our relationship had been tumultuous and I was beginning to get to get to a good place. There was to be fair to him, a bit of back and forth from me as I took what he said very seriously and I wanted to be sure. I wanted to take it very very slowly. My sex drive isn't quite the same, I still want to have sex, but not discuss it everyday on the phone, and I think that's been a big deal to him.

I thought we were kind of back together, I've been spending time with his family. I had a really bad feeling the last few days, I knew something was going on. I made a non profile profile on Tinder, and there he is. I have no right to feel a bit disjointed do I, but I do.

OP posts:
rvby · 20/07/2019 19:28

I'm sorry op.

Is it maybe time to properly put this guy behind you?

FirTree31 · 20/07/2019 19:33

Thanks Rvby. I think so, although I'm not sure how I broach it, I haven't said anything yet. I found him, then deleted the app. And I know if I tell him I was on there he'll twist it. I was there all last weekend. 4 years together, albeit we had a six month 'break up' which I guess wasn't really a break up.

OP posts:
litterbird · 20/07/2019 20:10

Don't jump to conclusions, during the six month break up he may have got himself a Tinder profile, he may not be active on it and has just forgotten to delete his app. I have one I think from ages ago but dont use it or even look at it at all. Its just there and your post reminded me to delete it. I am dating now so probably best to get rid of it! Why dont you ask him saying a friend of yours just joined and he came up as a match? Approach it lightly and get your answer.

FirTree31 · 20/07/2019 20:16

Thanks for your reply. That could be the case, however he was on it a few months ago before we tried getting back together, and I knew he was, then since then we've been in the very least dating, and I saying "I love you" ... But he's added to the profile info, same photos, more info, seeking "connection". It's my fault for being so closed off and defensive, I've been pathetic really.

OP posts:
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