Is it normal to be told off by your partner when you've done something wrong?

[PurpleTreeFrog]

My husband tells me off when I've done something wrong or made a mistake. e.g. Just now I placed an order for some school photos and I accidentally selected the wrong payment option. We live abroad and I misunderstood what the button meant as it's not in English. When I told him what happened he told me off afterwards. This isn't normal right?

To be fair I also complain to him when he's done something wrong. e.g. if I've asked him to do some housework and he doesn't do it properly.

Fed up with the lack of respect we both have for eachother really

It sounds a bit messed up. Neither of you are children so why are you telling each other off?

People make mistakes. We are only human. Doesn’t require a telling off every single time.

It depends what you mean by telling off?

In all honesty if dp fucks up, I usually say 'ah well cant be helped now's but occassionally, when it could have been avoided I might say 'couldnt you have checked first?' I wouldnt stand and shout at him.

Dp is probably the same. Usually not fussed but ca get a bit irritated if I could have easily avoided the issue first.

Most people get a bit irritated now and then.

But if neither of you respect the then it doesnt matter if its normal or not.

I think it depends what you mean by telling off.

Depends what you mean by telling off.

I point out to dh when he has yet again gone and arsed it all up. He tells me off a bit sometimes too, if I arse it up. This is less common 😁

Is he actually 'telling you off' or is that your perception of him pointing out something that has bothered him to discuss it with you? I say this because I've had massive discussions through the years with my other half, and what I perceive to be his immature/victim/child - like reaction to normal adult discussions. He is exceptionally conflict avoidant and uses phrases like 'telling off' and 'picking on', and puts me into a mother role by 'asking for permission' etc etc. It's very frustrating but we seem to be getting somewhere, and it's certainly linked with other issues which he's had counselling for. If any of this rings bells look up attachment styles.

You're not the only one. My dh is constantly treating me like a child. He speaks to me like shit sometimes in-front of others. It's embarrassing. This morning, he had a go at me for not getting up straight away. As though he had already said it to me several times but hadn't. I actually worry for him sometimes, that he has these conversations in his head instead of with me then snaps at me when I don't do what he hasn't asked me.

Fuck no

What do you mean by tell off? I do moan at my partner when he does stuff that makes life harder or more like doesn’t do something but I wouldn’t call it telling off.