Don't know what to do anymore

[Whattodowhattodo22]

Hi all so I have 4 children 3 with my ex and 1 with my partner now, been together 4 and 1/2 years live together in a council rented property I work he has a chronic illness so can't work he looks after the kids here is my don't know what to do......... we have been arguing a lot like every day mainly over the kids, i will always stand by the kids especially if I don't think they have done much wrong, he dont like this and starts on me (which I would rather get the sh## than him start on the kids ) the arguments are horrible name calling him to me I am a s##t mum fat ugly useless the list goes on. I am currently on the couch as tonight ended up in another argument. I can't take anymore of his dragging petty things on and on the constant watching how I word things so he dont go mad. We don't have a sex life we don't go out anywhere. I have no family or friends at all and if I leave I have nowhere to go he has said I won't be allowed to take our child with me, as he is his and I wouldn't cope with him, and basically I am no good for him. I know what I should do but I just don't know where to start I would have to leave my job :( as I have 0 child care and wouldn't be able to afford nursery or school clubs no savings and a car in his name worth about £300. Don't know the point in writing this but feel better with it wrote down. Thanks for reading xxx

Sorry I can't be of much help but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered.
Are both of your names on the house?
How old is your youngest child?
Will be never work again?

Hi thank you for replying, my eldest is 12 and our youngest is 3 nearly 4. There is only his name on the tenancy both on council tax if that matters. I don't think he will ever work again xx

I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. I appreciate how difficult this must be for you but could you discretely speak to Women's Aid or Citizen's Advice to see whether you could manage financially if you make the decision to leave? They may also be able to help you with housing advice. Also when weighing up your options please also consider whether you are able to accept his treatment of you as a role model for your children. I think you may surprise yourself and find that life would be happier for you and your DC if he wasn't living with you.

I just don't know what to do anymore, work are aware of the situation well bits of it as I work for hmpps so didn't want to really tell everything it's a little embarrassing. I know I shouldn't be accepting this 😣 but so scared of starting all over again 😭xx

This is an abusive relationship op. Make an appointment with women’s aid they will help you. It also seems like you’re trying to protect your kids from him, this isn’t a healthy situation for them to be in at all x

Yes do speak to Women’s Aid. They will give you the advice you need to start again.

For your children’s sake you can’t leave them with this man. He’s being emotionally abusive to them and you need to protect them. Contact women’s aid and go from there, please don’t stay in this relationship.

So I have left with 3 of my kids as he wouldn't let me know where near the youngest I am at a friend's but have nothing. Now what do I go to a refuse hostel 🤔