AIBU

[GMB2000]

AIBU? My partner of 7 years has just asked me for my drivers license so he can set this account up in my name. Aside from the obvious red flag and everything else...... in a normal relationship would you just hand over your ID and say yeah fine or would you ask for a little context first? Because I asked him what it was he needed it for. He asked me why. I replied with (what I think is a normal response of) I’d just like to know what your using it for. He then asks me if it’s because I’m worried about him having it. I said I’m not worried in the respect of him using it for some kind of monetary gain but I’d just like to know what you need it for. He’s gone off downstairs in an angry huff. Comes back upstairs and says why am i worried, what do I think he’s going to do with it. I reiterated my first point. And now he’s accusing me of always having to be right and never giving him any wiggle room when we have these kinds of conversations, that I always manage to be cool and level headed whilst he gets all emotional and angry. That I’m some how in the wrong for asking him a simple question. I also asked him why he was so upset because he seemed to be overreacting. Now I feel like I’m in the wrong because I’m not annoyed, I just didn’t want to let him manipulate me with guilt. Am I in the wrong?

Thanks for the advice both! I didn’t know that.

I also do matched betting. Some matched bettors do open accounts in their partners name (with their full permission) and use them for the bookies that are partner friendly to double some of the profit. Some take it a step further and do it on behalf of other family and friends (with their full permission). So that in itself I wouldn't have an issue with if there was 100% trust there. However given the circumstances surrounding the rest of your relationship I wouldn't trust him at all, so would not give him permission. It's a big red flag.

Oh I think there has been some recent changes in regulation about ID in the past six months. I've had to submit ID for some accounts that couldn't verify me. It's very common to be asked to send ID now.

Ah ok, I had done it about a year ago so must have changed.

What MarianaMoatedGrange said ie
Hide all your ID. This isn't right.

I see you've signed up for credit check notification on yourself to see if any credit has been applied for in your name.

Also tighten up your online banking and other related security wherever possible, including any accounts you don't share with him. If necessary set up a completely new email address for matters relating to your separation with a unique password. Would you be able to change the pin code on ur phone without raising suspicion?

Speak to a separate solicitor to the one handling your house sale (no need to let him know) to clarify what your position is during the house sale (a) to ensure the money is safe once funds have been transferred and (b) you will get your fair share of the equity once you are ready.

Do you already know the address you might move to after the house is sold? If so set up an online mail redirect with Royal Mail online with the date you want it to start. If you don't have an address yet maybe consider redirecting to your parents home, if feasible?

Good luck getting out of this tricky situation OP. 🌹

Sorry to moan again ladies but I’m really upset and don’t really have anyone to turn to. Just found out he’s ordered a SIM card in my name too and hasn’t told me and accidentally found loads of porn on his laptop including live camera ones. The porn doesn’t bother me so much as I have a very high sex drive so have had to turn to it myself in the past a few times. What does bother me however is the fact that he’s been turning me down and making me embarrassed for having such a high drive for so long that I’d lost all self confidence and stopped trying and have completely stopped in the last few months and he’s turned to that! I’m right here!! Sorry rant over!