I’ve just ended a long term relationship.

[Musicandlyrics]

I think.
I’ve told her I don’t think we’re right for each other and that I don’t think we’ll ever make each other happy.
I think we’ve been involved in a pretty toxic relationship if I being honest.
I don’t know what I hope to gain from posting, I just don’t want to talk to anyone in real life.
I feel very sad and in a bit of disbelief because this really is it for me but I also feel a sense of relief.
I hope I’ve made the right decision.
I think I have but it just hurts.

It will hurt for a while, but focus on your reasons for splitting. Give yourself 24 hours to mourn, then work on keeping yourself busy.

I can’t yet. I have 2 DC and 1 has a friend sleeping over this evening.
I plan to have a bath when they’re all in bed and just allow myself to cry. I’ve cried so much this last few months I don’t know how many tears I could possibly have left to cry but I will just take this evening to accept it and grieve it.
It’s shit. It could have been so fantastic but we’ve both made too many mistakes and I don’t think things would have ever changed.
It’s the right decision, I know it is, it just hurts.

Its always hard to end a relationship as you will go through bouts of relief and guilt and relief and guilt. Something bought you to that decision. Write it down and go back to the reasons you split when you have weak moments. Don't go jumping into any other relationships until you have grieved this one. It will hurt for a while so keep yourself busy until the pain has passed.

I hope that over the course of the evening the sense of relief grows to crowd out everything else- you sound very unhappy, but it sounds like this relationship could be the source of your unhappiness. Good luck, OP.

It’s not the first time we’ve broken up.
She broken up with me and I’ve broken up with her in the past.
Most recently she spent 6 months drifting from me and telling me she wasn’t until she broke up with me.
I asked her to please just leave me be and let me heal but she said she wanted to be with me so much that she couldn’t accept it was over so we have tried but I just can’t feel loved accepted and wanted.
Maybe it’s my issue I don’t know maybe it’s both of us.
I try to talk but she won’t talk to me. She tells me she hates things being serious. She tells me it irritates her that I want to talk so much. That I’ve always got an issue and a problem.
She holds a lot of resentment towards me and I don’t think she can get past it.
She blames me for things not working out between us leading to the last breakup but she lost her relationship with my DS and wouldn’t talk to me then either, just withdrew.
I can’t do this anymore. It’s making me feel crazy.
So much has gone on. So much has happened and so much has been said... and not said.
I just can’t cope with it anymore.
She sais it’s me that has the problems, maybe it is but if that’s the case I’m not good for her either so will leave her be.
Thank you.
I want the relief to take over.
Every time I go back. She tells me she loves me just as it’s over and I go back every time.
I can’t go back again.
I’ve been so very unhappy.
I feel like I’m insane.