Is this narcissistic behaviour

[Lazydazycrazy]

I have just read a thread that has my stomach in knots. It is on this board about a girl who seems to be caught up with a narcissicist and has been given fantastic insight and advice.
Until today I did not know what a narcissist was.
To me, it meant that someone was self absorbed and thought they were superior. When I read about the projection and the mirroring and the lamp
Analogy, I got upset.
I’d appreciate it if you could read my thoughts and my experiences and lead me to a conclusion about what happened to me .
A man pursued me as a friend for some months . We got exceptionally close. He was always around. The suggestive comments and flirting started . The complements about my appearance and personality followed. I did not find him
Attractive but enjoyed the attention. He then started to mirror my body language, my phrases, my opinions and thoughts. He seems to become
Compassionate caring and his taste in music books and travel also began to mirror my personal preferences . I thought it was strange but flattering. He bagan to get very intense, texting and ringing at the most unsocial times , day and night . I found it too much and asked him to stop. He didn’t. He continued this and I detached myself, slowly .
One day a year ago , he announced that he had a new girlfriend . Relief!
He proceeded to speak negatively about her for months. Yet he kept her hanging in there, all the time ringing, texting and following me around . He continued the inappropriate comments about me to me . My requests for him to ease off did not work.
Then one day , he was gone!
No more texts, no more ringing . Just like that. He continued to follow and comment on my social media and work email but overnight it stopped dead and left me reeling.
Was he a narcissist? What happened ?

Sounds like he 'love bombed' you and used 'narcissistic triangulation' with you and the new gf (eg: slagging her off to you and probably vice versa ect..) so very probably. Lack of respect for your boundaries, wouldnt take 'back off' for an answer....yup check check chek. Definitely some sort of disordered anyway.

Why haven't you blocked him everywhere? He may have stopped contact for now, but may be back. He sounds deranged.

Reminds me of a time one I knew that went through all my fb 'likes' and liked a big list of them. I thought it was odd but flattering because it was so obvious but thought it meant that he must like me. But really, no normal person does that. And it is ALL to get you to like them, not vice versa.

Really?? That man used to ‘love’ every single post I put up . Odd. So do you think he is a narcissist or has he turned weird ? I must block him

He sounds more like nutter. Becareful

He's probably telling the new girlfriend a pack of lies about how you used to behave, and that you were 'crazy'.

You're well rid of that one.

Why would he tell a girlfriend that? I know I’m well rid of him but it did leave me thinking wtf?? It’s so weird now looking back. I think he thought I would give in to him or something similar ? Deranged is a good word to describe the situation

Be careful and get rid of him on every social aspect you can! What a fruitloop he is

Lol makes me laugh cause the guy I mentioned back there used to like everything I posted too and I've seen others similar behave the same.

Some of them have a habbit of saying 'my ex(/s) was crazy' to the new person on the scene.

Make sure you have him blocked on everything or he will show up again in a few months acting like you two are besties again and he never did anything wrong/wasn't asked to leave you alone. Delete, block, ignore, no contact. Or you'll be back in the fire.

Seriously!!! Is that social media ‘ liking’ and commenting on any post I’ve been tagged in or post, a thing??? But why? This is making absolutely no sense to me . Do you truly think there’s something wrong with him? I was a bit wtf? Now I’m somewhat nervous . Is this narcissistic behaviour ?

Does it matter though?

Wether its narcissism, or maybe a mental health issue or a bit weird. Labelling him wont change anything.

He is a dick. Remember to not get caught up in being flattered and ignoring someones odd behaviour

Block him now.

I was only trying to figure out what had happened . It was senseless to me. For him to drop contact so sharply . Why did he do that. Was I not giving him enough attention as he thought fit?

It doesn't matter why he did anything, he is clearly odd and thankfully you don't have to have anything further to do with him, block on everything.

No one can diagnose NPD over the internet, and adding a label to poor behaviour doesn't change anything, would being on the receiving end of a narcissists tricks make you feel better than if he was just a common dickhead? Let it go and don't be so easily drawn in by flattery next time.

The thing about a true narcissist is that whatever they do is to cover the dead space inside themselves with validation. The word used these days is 'supply'. It is unclear from your description whether that is what was happening, because unless you in some way failed to act your part in his world-view he would not need to act to punish or hurt you. He could yes, simply drop you for new pastures.

It could equally be that he was autistic, and you were the concentrated object of his attention for a while, his 'project'. The mirroring could happen here as well.

It might have been something else entirely, some other disorder of appropriate social relationship.

The really important thing is that you felt it was off despite feeling flattered.

But you are still giving him grian space.

You wanted him to back off. Was relived he found a girlfriend but still continued contact when you werent comfortable with his behaviour.

What you need to concentrate in is why you kept contact and carried on talking to him.

I’d be grateful he isn’t my problem any more and move swiftly on, label his behaviour whatever you want - you’re relationship whatever it was with him was clearly unhealthy

Lol why do you keep sounding surprised? His behaviour easily points in that general direction...and one in ten people have a cluster b personality disorder so it wouldn't be a rare thing. Can we say for definite that his is one, no. But we can say he behaved very very oddly indeed and you are well shot.

I could be wrong here and I’ll probably get a mouthful if I am but forgive me - it kind of seems you need to round up his behaviour and decision to move on and he seemed so “obsessed” with you - for a bit of closure? Maybe he just wasn’t into you and he’s a bit bat shit

No mouthful . He probably wasn’t interested but obsessed or something odd. I would love to know what led him to go no contact . I am intrigued too

It could be that his apparent narcissism got the better of him and his over reactive behaviour to him didn’t quite get the reaction he expected from her, to fall head over heels so he moved on!

*to her (bloody long nails)

I have felt the need to tell him on numerous occasions that I regatded him as a brother I never had and said this weekly for a month just to hammer home that whatever messed up type friendship we had, was all it would ever be. The very last time I said that to him was the last contact I had with him, if you think this is relevant?

I really think your question has been answered OP yes, he certainly has narcissistic tendencies hence how he moved on so quickly

You no longer allowed yourself to feed his narc supply so be when else where.

Learn and move on.

A very very similar thing happened to me. Pursued, flattered, drawn in and then systematically abused, ignored, love bombed and manipulated for some months. Not a pleasant experience. Block him.