His friends don’t accept me

[MightyMagnificentScarfaceClaw]

My DP is from a much posher background than mine - went to a well known private school, family quite well off, etc. Many of his friends come from similar. I grew up in an inner city, went to a standard comp, did well at school and was first in my family to go to uni. I’m working in a decent job though not as well off as DP. I was also a single parent when we met.

His family and some friends seem to like me and have welcomed me and my kids. But several of DP’s friends don’t seem to approve of our relationship. They invite him to events without me or the kids, they make positive sounds when he suggests getting together as families but it never materialises. DP says they’re just busy but it’s been for several years now, it’s pretty obvious they don’t think I’m good enough for him. I can’t help feeling upset and hurt about this. AIBU, and WWYD?

Personally, I wouldn't bother with them. Id consider it their loss. Do you really want to work to be accepted by people that make you feel unworthy?

They don't sound nice at all.

Their loss. Would you really want friends like these? They haven’t accepted you in years. If anything, your partner should maybe ask if they have an issue. Highly likely they’ll deny though.

Thank you Windmill - I’d like to get to the point where I don’t care. My DP is not in the least snobby and ive noticed he is more distant from these friends. Maybe this will continue if there isn’t more acceptance of me.

I grew up poor, as my parents separated when I was young. Life was hard and as a child I was very ashamed of where I lived. Today, I'm very proud that despite a somewhat difficult start I have two degrees, a lovely home and a wonderful life. I don't believe anyone is any better than me.

If anything, I feel much admiration for myself that I got to where I am off my own back.

Don't give them any more thought, they don't deserve it

If his family accept you, then forget the friends.

They may be of the view that he could get a GF without the baggage of kids and possibly an Ex to deal with....however, it's not their choice to make.

There are many people who only want to mix with their own kind.. I think this Is partly snobbish but partly insecurity. They validate one another and they are not challenged to embrace the value that others bring. Take it as a compliment, that are not secure enough in their own life to accept you. Seems like DP has already recognised how worthless they are.

It's odd that your DP would want to associate with people who deliberately make no effort to get to know you.

Rise above it and don’t let it impact your relationship with your DP. That’s what they want.

Are there other kids at the events?

I often meet up with girl friends without my kids/husband and rarely ever have him along!

Similarly he has some lad friends he meets up with for a drink and it would odd to invite me!

Fuck 'em
They are judgmental arseholes.
You just get on with your life with your DP.

My best friend has been with her OH for 8 years and I have never met him. I'm not interested in meeting him. He's not my kind of person.
And that's ok...

Thank you for all your comments and support. Several friends have kids similar ages to mine and DP has suggested meeting up several times but it’s never happened. My kids are delightful so this is definitely their loss! Like you Windmill I have come from a poor background and made my own way in life, achieved degrees and a good job. If accent and schooling (which are accidents of birth) matter more to some people they aren’t worth my worry.

newmomof1 how do you know he’s not your kind of person without meeting him?

@MightyMagnificentScarfaceClaw because I know what his personality is like, I know what his interests are etc

We would just clash, a lot, and he's quite unstable so it's for the best

My friend knows us both very well and knows we would not get on