Exhaustion as

[ExtraFox19]

Does anyone recognise the idea that a man might deny a break or help to his exhausted wife/ partner as a way of controlling/ abusing her? When she is on her knees with exhaustion and repressing her anger she will start berating him
And then be told to “ behave”. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Thanks Stayawayfromitouth but my children are so young and love their dad and I really don’t want to damage that- I really have no real family so I feel I have so little to offer them. I want them to feel connected. It really is quite hard, to those who suggest I am being done martyr who is not doing anything to help
Myself it’s actually really hard to
Leave your children with a stranger let alone one with sen experience who you think your child will accept and they always charge extra for anything like this. I’m certainly not the defeatist I’m being painted as.

I could go through all the things I’ve tried from Homestart to the young nanny who we thought we’d built a connection with only for her to drop us at the last minute for a better offer and with asd people
Just dropping out is not helpful and is really infuriating when you’ve let them into your life and listened to all they have to say. I won’t go into all these experiences but needless to say I have tried to find someone to help repeatedly.

Have you tried National Autistic Society. I worked with them years ago and they had Saturday clubs for kids to give parents a break. They also organised respite, even in your home if necessary for consistency etc. At the least they'll have a list of suitable babysitters with experience.

Unfortunately, I do think you need to give up on twatboy ex giving you support. You will just end up disappointed and resentful. Widen your net, ring NAS and other charities.

He sounds bad, he should be in your shoes, op.
Find a way of having your break regardless of what he says.

When he comes over can you go out? Just to sit quietly somewhere?

Thanks I’ll try NAS ThingsdoGetBetter butm
Not sure they run such things around here. I have a long summer ahead of me- I want the kids to have fun but it’s really hard at the moment. I am in touch with lots of agencies but very few run anything where you can actually leave and get some rest or headspace - there are play groups but mostly with older kids with much
More complex
Needs and it will
Not be the right thing for my son I know.
I only want a break if the kids are in a good situation. With dad they are at least very happy to be with him so it’s such a shame he won’t help me more particularly since he hates it when I get overwrought but
I
Am set up to fail in that regard.

I’m
Not trying to be a martyr I’m
Just very depressed.