Am I being over sensitive?

[OhDolores]

So DH works away some weeks, only ever mon-fri and then home weekends. We usually speak for a few minutes when he finishes for the day and I always ask how his day's gone. His job can be stressful and his days eventful so he's normally got quite a bit to offload, I don't generally mind, we all need somewhere to vent.

But I'm noticing more and more that when he's finished he stops making any attempt at conversation, he doesn't ask about my day or about how DC and I are even, he literally just goes quiet. I'm finding it a bit hurtful tbh, I understand that he's in work mode when he's away but surely it's just bad manners not to ask!

I even pointed out today that we seemed to have run out of conversation, hoping it might prompt him to at least ask how things are at home but nothing. It's a small thing, I know it is, and I don't see how I can raise it without sounding needy/whiney but it does hurt my feelings and I'm not sure what to do with that

He's gotten into a bad habit there. He's become accustomed to his daily vent. That is the purpose of the entire call, for him. In fairness you have facilitated it for a long time.

You need to change the whole pattern. I would text instead. "Hope your day was OK, ring me after dinner and I'll tell you how ours went"

Is there a way I could tell him without sounding petty do you think? Feel like just sending a text saying 'had you realised you don't ask me a single question about my day or how I am when you ring?' but hate feeling like I'm whinging about something that probably doesn't/shouldn't matter in the long run.

I would probably say something along the lines of "we've had a lovely day today by the way, thanks for asking"..... I think vocalising the way you feel about Something doesn't always have to be accusatory, and in my experience guys always shut down if they hear criticism, but it's a way of letting him know that you're pissed off but being awfully nice in the process.

Don't be daft, it matters. In the long run if he doesn't take an interest in you, your relationship will deteriorate - he'll not really think of you as a person with your own inner life, and you'll resent him. He needs a kick up the bum.

If you're accusatory he's just gonna see you as another person getting at him after a day at work of people being stressful.

I would definitely withdraw a bit and be more muted in response to his daily whinges. Let him notice in his own that you are not fussing over him so much.

Don't text, say it verbally. When he next goes quiet ask "would you like to know about my day?"

See what he says. If he isn't that interested you could point out to him that you care enough and have manners enough to be interested in his day and has he ever thought that he could perhaps be interested in yours too?

Or he may just think that his own life is so very fascinating and that you should be lucky to hear about it. I think I know too many people like this .