Ive posted about this issue before although not in relationships. I am now at the end of my tether with my DM and am on the verge of seriously losing my shit with her.
My DM is bored, lonely, unfullfilled, struggling to come to terms with the fact that she's getting older (although shes only in her 60's) and has I suspect undiganosed mental health problems. I think possibly depression and anxiety. She has no hobbies and no interests and has few, if any friends. She has effectively lived through DF, DB and I for almost 40 years. She works for my DF and has never really had any kind of career.
Over the past few years I have noticed that she has started using me as an emotional sounding board, confidant or whatever you want to call it. Its more often than not trivial stuff, but it is relentless. She ruminates over the most ridiculous things. For example, most recently she went on and on for weeks about which boarding kennels to put her dog in when she goes on holiday next week. Despite having recomendations from family and neighbours, she went on and on about it. I get that she doesnt want to put her dog in any old dump, but she didnt seem to do very much about it other than whinge.
There is a huge backstory here, and that is that this is all very one sided. It always has been. She has been emotionally unavilable my whole life, and does not want to listen to any of my problems or concerns. Never has done, I can remember her dismissing me and telling me I was 'being silly' when I told her I was worried about going up to secondary school. More recently I found a breast lump, which turned out to be benign. However I was terrified. DM was quite frankly usless throughout and told me that it was unlikely to be anything serious my age and to ' stop going on about it'. Thats her favourite phrase 'stop going on about it', yet she never stops going on about stuff. You couldnt make it up. I found more support from work colleagues Id only known a matter of months than I did from my own mother!
The other day I needed a reference for a job Im applying for and was talking about who I could ask, just sort of thinking out loud really. ' Oh theres no need to go on about it' was the response. I admit I lost it with her and shouted. Something Ive never done. I then got a very 'hurt' pouty almost toddler like look in response.
There is so much more I could write, but it would become a dissertation so I will stop there. I am just not sure what to do about it? Ive tried ignoring it and changing the subject to something light but it doesnt work. She is, to put it bluntly, a fucking nightmare and I am having sleepless nights wondering what she will be like at 80.
Help!