My friend has been in an on/off relationship with a guy for the past few yrs. He has no self-esteem and so has drained her of the small amount she had. He humiliates her in front of friends, promises her things (like moving in together)and then denies everything. He won't let her meet his family, treats her like a whore, has taken her self-confidence, self-respect and her dignity and is extremely manipulative.
I asked her if he'd ever hit her. She said no, but that he'd once pushed her over during an argument and "booted" her. There have been other occasions, but I won't go into too much detail. Up until a year ago it was just mental abuse, but now it's getting more physical.
She says she loves him and knows that the whole relationship is bad for her but can't let him go. When they do break up, he leaves it a week or so before contacting her and then she falls for him again hook, line and sinker.
She used to be fun-loving, not great self-esteem but pretty happy although she has issues the same as everyone. I've known her for nearly 20 years and I am so sad to see her like this. She would never have let anyone treat her like this a few years back. She used to be fairly "high maintenance" and expected a lot from her partners, but now she's like a puppy dog.
I told her to ignore every single text and phone call. She said he'd hound her, but I said "just be strong and don't let him have any inkling of how you are feeling". This may have worked because he doesn't know exactly where she lives, but he can contact her at work and whilst she's on call. As soon as he sees her weaken he won't let go until she's his again. She told me she feels that he doesn't want her, but doesn't want anyone else to have her either.
I don't know what to suggest - I am nearly giving up because I don't see anywhere I can take it. I've showed pity, i've showed anger, disbelief - i've tried everything to make her see sense. I know she needs to get out of this one herself. She has suffered terribly with depression and i'm scared she'll do something stupid one day. She has been close many times.
If she ever came out of this situation alive and got her life back together I know she would be amazed at how she got so low and dependent on such scum. What do I say next? What can I do to convince her she must leave him completely?