I feel lost about my relationship right now. We aren’t married, been together almost 2 years and before that I was with my husband for 12 years and have two girls aged 10 and 12. My partner has two children also of similar ages.
His ex was very controlling and her actions I believe was emotional abuse. He has no self confidence and generally believes the world is against him. He lies to me or doesn’t tell me things until the last minute because he is scared of my reaction. For my part I’m happy for him to go out etc but I want to feel that i am a consideration in his plans and that he just lets me know his plans so that I can make my own. I’ve never given him a hard time about going out. He has no reason to be wary of me, not that he actually goes out that often.
One of his children, who is 11 has behaviour issues. When things don’t go his way he has tantrums, throws things, shouts, is rude to his dad to get a rise in him. I have been saying for months that he needs help to learn to deal with his frustrations, for his benefit as well as everyone else’s. Nothing has been done by either my partner or the the boys mum. I find the situation very frustrating and it has a negative effect on my children.
My partner is currently going through a difficult divorce and this has pushed him over the edge. Last night he lost it over something silly and he shouted and was shouting in my face. I pushed him with my hand on his chest to get him away from me. He grabbed my arm hard enough that today I have bruises.
If my friend had told me this then I would be telling her to get out of this relationship but so much of the relationship is good. My children love him, we have created a lovely home, money is a bit tight but we manage. I do love him and I want to help him but i don’t want this life. I don’t want drama, it’s not me at all. How do we fix this? Counseling? I’m so tired and i can’t think straight