When I was 14. I was caught shoplifting. I had been doing it for a while. Just silly stuff - hair gel, soap, body spray that kind of thing.
My parents punished by my Dad hitting me, strenuously encouraged by my Mum. I don't want to describe it but it was humiliating and painful and inappropriate for a teenager, well any child really I suppose. My parents also made me cut contact with the friend I had done the shoplifting with. Also no one in the family home spoke to me for around a month, not a single word. This included my siblings. I didn't shoplift again and definitely learned my lesson.
A year or two later my Mum showed me an item that she had stolen herself and from then on I was encouraged to shoplift for and with her and was told that if we were ever caught then I must take the full blame and never mention her as I was known for it and her and my Dad's marriage would be destroyed if I didn't take the blame. I was very frightened of my Mum, who was physically abusive and I did it. There are ornaments and items in their house still that I stole at her request.
I've pushed all this to the back of my mind over the years but as my own well loved and well adjusted children go through their teens I am really struggling with the above events. I can't imagine how they could have looked at me and thought this was ok. I look at my own teens and I would sooner die than do this to them. I suppose I am just looking for validation that it was as bad as I think it was especially as I am and always have been the family scapegoat. There's loads more that went on right up until a few years ago but this really sticks and feels worse because I am still having my name dragged through the mud by my family to anyone who will listen because I am almost NC with them. I went NC for multiple reasons.
It's bad isn't it? I keep my children away from them and I think that's right, mostly. Any opinions welcome.