Mum

[sotosey]

Last night I couldn't stop crying.

It hit me that my mum and i aren't friends. I've had twins (1.5 years) and although I don't expect her to help, I don't see her often at all. I see grandparents helping out at mother and toddler groups and I can't help feeling angry that there's nothing there between my mum and I.

Before I got pregnant, we were closer but I've come to realise it was because I was putting in all the effort.

Angry and heartbroken.

Hiya!!! I have mum that is just not mumsy? I got pregnant at 25 and i remember feeling crushed by her reactions/lack of interest. She was "pleased" about becoming a Grandma in her own way but i could tell she did not do baby shopping, excitement and coming along to things. The worst bit for me was how badly she reacted to me finding out the gender. She wanted me to surprise her and not find out for myself either. Not for any big reason but she disagrees with finding out.

Anyway my daughter was born. They visited the house twice. Sat down had a hold and drink and left. No offer of a hot meal, abit of housework or a bath. Just there to see the baby. I now have a 4 years and 18 month old. Ive been through it twice now.

Just like you i have watched at the park whilst proud Granparents push their grandkids on the swings. Ive seen kids out shopping with nannys and grandads. Ive seen kids out for meals with Granparents. Ive also been to baby groups and seen loads of Grandmas helping out their daughters with their kids. All my friends and cousins get help! They have free childcare of family so they can work, they have date nights while their kids go to a grandparent.

Ive resented my parents at times for not wanting to do more. They never even wanted to come to the hospital the day my kids were born. They were not that enthusiastic when they had my eldest whilst i had her brother. They had her from 4am until 7pm. Around 15 hours. They did the basics and that was it.

I dont really know anything huge to help. I just hope me and my kids will have that bond i never had. I hope i am able to help my daughter when she starts a family. Sense when they need a break. Listen to them and help them out more. It is hard when you watch other families doing all the things and you know it wont ever be your set up but you have to just focus on being a good mum to your kids. Break the cycle! I umderstand the pain you feel. Its sad. I never can read my mum but she has never done hugs etc. She is very uncomfortable with breast feeding etc. Shes difficult. She tries to be a good mum in her own way but she clearly struggled with motherhood. It did not come naturally to her. We were always fed and taken care off but beyond that my mum was absent. My friends families exposed me to alot more than my mum did. Is your mum like this? My mums never said she loves us etc. She puts us down too.