Mediation

[Mylifestartstoday]

Can someone explain the pros and cons of mediation? My exh wants mediation to sort out finances following our separation, but I’m suspicious of his motives.

I think mediation is pushed as an opener & done well I guess it can be a good thing. For me it was a pointless waste of time as whilst I sat there my ex emptied all our bank accounts! I think if you're amicable enough to come up with an agreement then you don't need a mediator. It's not cheap either. Also, what do you do when your ex just says 'no' at every move? Hopefully some more helpful answers will be along shortly..

Definitely definitely get yourself good legal advice as to what a reasonable settlement should look like because your ex sure as hell isn't going to tell you about every bean he has hidden. Get full Form E's

That’s what I was thinking, if he was going to be amicable we wouldn’t need anyone. I wondered whether going would help me know what he wants and then just go through my sol but I can’t be arsed playing games.

Mediation is a non starter in any case if there was abuse of any type within the relationship. I would be questioning myself as to why he is pushing for this at all and you are anyway suspicious of his motives.

Apparently his solicitor is pushing for it. I have a good case for a larger proportion of assets, I just wonder if he’s trying to appeal to my better side (which has disappeared where he is concerned). I need to support my children and house us, he can swan off and live with the woman he’s been having an 18 month affair with.

In principle it's a sensible idea, sit around a table & thrash a deal out taking in all the pros & cons of both parties. In practise sadly, many men need the stern eye of a judge to force a half decent settlement. I speak from painful experience. Good luck OP, divorce was the worst experience of my life.