I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for just over a year. A few ups and downs - we do seem to have quite different interests. But one of the things that has really bugged me is
We spend a lot of the time at his flat doing his favourite thing which is watching films and eating/sleeping (I literally mean sleeping).
He has quite a demanding job which means he sometimes works very long hours for weeks at a stretch and he uses this to justify why he needs downtime but even still during the times when work is much more slack he seems to just enjoy doing the same thing.
What has really got to me is a couple of times I’ve asked him at the weekend to let’s go out for brunch or lunch or a walk in the glorious weather and he’s said no and that I should go by myself and then come back after. It’s made me feel like he’s not bothered to do what I want to do although when I’ve brought this up he’s strenuously denied it and we’ve rowed.
Anyway that’s the context - now the conundrum. For the last few weeks he’s been on a project and it’s been fairly intense. I’ve gone to his late at night and we’ve hung out etc and had dinner together but generally not had much us time. He finished last Wednesday and had to go to the airport Thursday morning to attend a stag do for his best friend. I’d offered to drive him and thought we could have a lovely breakfast Thursday morning out at a cafe before heading off to the airport. He wasn’t keen but then agreed but then turned up an hour late because his friend called who’s been having a hard time. I was really pissed off and we had a frosty ride there. He came back esterday evening and is leaving this Friday for the wedding and will be back on Sunday. He’s sent me messages yesterday saying he missed me and I should come round but I said I already had plans. We then spoke on the phone last night and he asked what I was doing today and I said I might go out and he said we should hang out and I said great what do you have in mind and he didn’t have much so I kept it casual and said I’d probably g swimming and he asked me to call him after. Anyway I’ve had a lovely day out with a picnic and a book. I’ve decided that I’m going to leave the ball in his court and unless he actually has plans to do something I’m just going to not bother.
He hasn’t contacted me today and I haven’t contacted him. I’m aware he might not bother contacting me as he’ll think I’m in a mood and should be trying to meet up with him. But he is expecting us to see each other next week as I booked a holiday for us somewhere in England and we were meant to be taking the train down on Monday the day after he’s back from his wedding. Thing is if we haven’t spoken by then I’m not sure there’s much point in us going on holiday although he might not see it as that...so I guess I’m just wondering how to handle it.