Would you go on holiday with your ex?

[GirlOnIt]

Need to decide as we've the final balance to pay in a few weeks and I'd pretty much decided to cancel it.
But I really want a holiday.

Broke up because he's controlling, but I'm not scared of him being physical and although he's being a bit of dick, when it comes to Ds he's being good. I think he'll spend the week trying to show me how great he is so I consider taking him back and I feel strong enough that I won't do that.
So I'm thinking maybe just go and at least I get a holiday and Ds gets a week with his daddy, he's too young for ex to take him for a week alone, still breastfeeding.

I've said if we go it's definitely not us getting back together.

If you’re still getting on ok and having a laugh as friends I can’t see the issue, nothing to lose by going surely? Maybe the one and only holiday your child gets with the both of you and you hopefully
get quality time with your baby before returning to work.

That's kinda what I'm thinking @GivemeGinandTonic. And for the most part he's being quite good all things considered. But he does have his moments and I'm just not 100% sure how he'll be.

I was thinking if he starts being a dick I could just book a earlier flight home or see if I can find somewhere else to stay. But I'm not sure how easy that will be. Honestly I imagine him being really good though, with maybe the odd "I miss you" "can't we try sort it out" thrown in. Maybe I'm reading him completely wrong though.

He's said he knows we aren't together and he'll respect my boundaries, he just wants a holiday with Ds.

My biggest concern is avoiding sex,

Don't go. That shouldn't even be a concern, yet it's your biggest.

I was thinking if he starts being a dick I could just book a earlier flight home or see if I can find somewhere else to stay

This is not something you should be thinking about before you go on holiday. Don't go.

I don't buy it O. If I were you I wouldn't go. You're pregnant and you have a young baby so you're quite vulnerable. It's not worth it for a holiday.

Yes, I think I'm probably best not going. But I just really want a holiday and it looks so lovely 😔

I know that shouldn't be my first thought @chzarind. But it's me missing sex, I'm thinking he'd try (maybe he wouldn't though).
But I'm pregnant and don't feel like I can exactly go off and have sex with someone else and it's been ages now. I don't want to go there because it will just make things more complicated and it's not really fair. I ended things I can hardly use him for when I'm feeling like sex, although it's his baby and his fault I'm in this predicament.

You absolutely cannot sleep with him if you have no intentions of getting back with him. This sounds like a total mess tbh. I would keep your head down and work out what your really want to do long term.

I'd go and probably have sex with him, people do 'sleep' with ex partners even when both are involved with someone else. It's not the end of the world, I presume you haven't moved on to another partner as you're pregnant. It might be fun!

@Rachelover40 I thought it, you typed it

I'm glad, I did wonder if I'd be castigated for saying it but I've known so many people who sleep with ex, sometimes on a fairly regular basis, and think nothing of it. I'm not separated or divorced, have the same husband I've always had, so don't know whether or not I would. However I understand people who do, unless they absolutely hate each other there are the 'ties of time', often children, most resolve their differences after a while and are quite friendly.

(Oh, just thinking about splitting up from my old man after nearly forty four years is quite upsetting, neither of us could bear it.)

Maybe if a mutual decision to split and a mutual decision to be fwb, that would work @Rachelover40. But in our situation I don't think it would be fair. Although if I get absolutely desperate while I'm pregnant I might have to, if he's willing!

GirlOnit, don't beat yourself up if it happens :-).