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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No contact with ex partner

3 replies

berrycloud · 15/07/2019 22:09

I just wondered if any one had gone no contact had ever worked for anyone to get their ex back? I can see how it also works to get over an ex as well.

What happened was I had been very depressed for the last 4 months of our relationship, everything had got to much for me. My ex partner and friends said I needed help but I didn’t listen. I generally pushed my ex away and got jealous about things he was looking at on social media (which I don’t even care about now but at the time I was angry)

He split with me. A week later I finally got help for my depression, as I had been suicidal for a while and made an attempt. I had a hospital stay and got meds and counselling.

I have been home for a while and am getting my life back together. I am slowly getting well. I am able to do tasks now and I don’t feel suicidal. And the new meds are helping I think.

I still love and miss my ex. I’ve apologised quite a few times by text and explained what happened and what help I got. I asked to maybe try again very slowly or talk. He didn’t want to and just wanted to be friends.
I must admit I did a bit of begging. But any contact with him got my hopes up and hurt. And he barely spoke to me by text. So I decided to not contact him anymore. In the hope I can get over him or the slim hope he may miss me and want to try again. It would give us both space to think. And I didn’t want to annoy him.

I do realise it’s a really small hope. But has anyone got back with an ex like this? I have changed my behaviour and I can see what went wrong.

We were a very loved up couple and best friends before the split. I know it’s his decision not to be together I am trying to be mature.

I worry how he is as and what he’s going though.
Thanks sorry it’s so long

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 15/07/2019 22:17

I think you should focus on getting yourself better and forget the relationship you had.

He may see the contact you made as manipulative and that you only got help when he ended it.

You say you're worried about him... I think it's more about your feelings though. He'll be fine.

Concentrate on your mental health and use any support networks that you have.

berrycloud · 15/07/2019 22:25

I hope he doesn’t see it as manipulation. We split and I suddenly saw what a mess I was. I was pushing away friends as well getting so overwhelmed with money, working, kids, and life. I wasn’t sleeping properly for ages. I saw that everyone was right. I wasn’t coping.

I’m not actively going to chase him or anything like that. I’m going to leave him to his space. I just hope in the future he may contact me.

I am working on myself everyday. Trying to be a better person and get fully well.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 15/07/2019 22:50

Sandy is right. I’d put the relationship behind you and focus on yourself.

Did you post about this recently?

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