Feeling teary, barely know him but feel awful at the possibility of it not working out!

[JudyOha]

This is so silly and ridiculous but I met someone from online (who is separated 8 months but not divorced yet) - we've been on a handful of dates, each lasting like 11 hours so quite lengthy ones and I'm usually fussy and haven't been attached to anyone in many years in the same way.. it's not even a primary physical attraction but more a strong attraction towards his personality, hard to describe really.

But obviously, because he is recently separated (living by himself) and not yet divorced, I'm already anticipating it going bad for some reason. It doesn't feel like a rebound and he doesn't pressurize me for any "naked" stuff so it's been good so far. He hasn't irritated me in any way yet at all (I have a low irritation threshold (so much so that I find most men irritating even on the first date) so it's miracle it's been a month and he's not done one irritating thing yet..

I know it's stupid to feel like this about someone I've known only a month...! Feel like a teenager all over again and hate feeling this vulnerable.. almost would rather go on dates with someone I feel meh/lukewarm about as there's no emotional fallout if it doesn't work out.

I'm mid-20s (he is mid-30s).

Someone make me see sense, please!

Take a hold and get some grip - you might be his rebound person, 8 months and not divorced yet either. Any kids to consider? I'd suggest dating some other people too and don't get too obsessed.

It's sounds great but domt blow it by being needy and insecure

Enjoy it and work in outside interests too to build your self esteem

Ah I say enjoy it!! Although I also agree with @bigchris and just chill and play it cool a bit. I don't mean play games, just don't give away everything until you're sure he's right for you - you really don't know him yet. Don't rush anything and take it slow. And ENJOY.

Oh I totally agree. I'm usually fairly cold, detached and fussy so feel weirded out to have caught the "love bug". I had been on dates with a few others just before meeting him and they were all so forgettable (they weren't anything terrible but there just was never a spark). Yes the rebound issue is what's probs making me feel on edge and stressed out. I went into it thinking "what will be, will be". If it works out, great. If it doesn't, I still got to meet a great person, have great days out etc. but now I feel needy..!!!

No, he hasn't got any kids.

@bigchris yes you're so right. That's the issue with humanity, the more someone likes you, the less you like them and vice versa leading to so many people in a state of unrequited love where they chase the ones who couldn't give a toss about them, whilst ignoring the ones who'd die for them lol.

Google "mirroring" and see if it fits.
Could you be so enamoured with his personality (whilst not so physically attracted) because he's effectively projecting YOU back at yourself? Perhaps this is why he has not irritated you at all. Be wary.

@PicsInRed Yeah I know what mirroring is as have been involved with a narc in the past and that was one of the things he did. It's kinda hard to separate evil mirroring with the natural mild mirroring people do when they're attracted to someone (e.g. pretend to like the same music so we impress them etc.) so really not sure about that one.