DH and I been together 14 years and have two DC. We’ve had loads of ups and downs In that time but overall were fairly happy until we had children. After DC DH simply didn’t step up to the plate when it came to anything to do with DC and has always spent more time working and when not working hanging out with his mates.
Our marriage started dying and wrongly I had an affair. My affair started 6 years ago and last year I confessed to DH that I had been seeing someone else and that I wanted a divorce. OM also married and told his wife he wanted to leave.
DH convinces me I should stay for kids and he would forgive me and I felt I should stay for them and for him. He promised to be around more and we could start afresh and I promised to go NC with OM.
First few months we both tried but now it’s back to exactly how it used to be but worse bc there DH doesn’t trust me which I obv understand. He is still rubbish with DC who Never want to spend time with him either. We bicker and fight all of the time even more than over the last 14 years if that’s even possible.
When things are so bad I think I’ve done the wrong thing staying and when I wanted to leave I should of done.
OM still wants us and I can’t stop thinking about him. I should leave DH shouldn’t I? We won’t recover from my affair? OM will still leave his wife? Any happily ever afters out there where both of you had young DC and left marriages just to ‘be happy’? Both of our spouses will be very bitter and will make life a lot harder too.