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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling unlovable

0 replies

WallyB9 · 15/07/2019 16:24

I am 58, and having escaped a pretty controlling relationship I was on my own for more than 12 months. I tried a dating site and met a guy, who struck me as someone who probably had a number of women in tow - he was fun, attractive and attentive. It quickly tuned into a physical relationship.

What I didn't know was that this man was already in a relationship - and had been for a number of years. When I did find out, (months later) by doing a bit of digging, he told me that it wasn't what it seemed, he wasn't happy and didn't love his partner and had ended up in a relationship with her too soon after his divorce. He told that me that he was re-evaluating his life, implying his relationships too.
Needless to say - none of this was true. He still carried on planning holidays with her, even one involving his daughter. I ended up unwittingly as his bit on the side - with him saying he needed to sort himself out. I put an end to it a couple of weeks ago, telling him I wouldn't be used.
But I do feel totally used and abused. Played. And to be honest, he's close to the only person I have met for more than one date. Everyone turns me down.

I am starting to feel pretty depressed about the whole thing . Fat and totally unattractive - unless you want to use me that is. I have a great job, I am financially independent, easy going and caring - but no one finds me attractive enough to get to know me. I am shattered.

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