AIBU about my mothers wedding?

[sendingallmylovetoyou]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted some advice if possible.

I've had a rocky relationship with my mother since my parents divorce when I was 15. My mum went off to start a new life and seemed to forget she was a parent, only seeing me when it suited her or to try and prove to boyfriends over the years that she was a good mum...

I was really angry at her during my teenage years, (which I'm 32 now) and learnt recently that I just don't need her in my life anymore, its sad but I've made so much effort over the years to try and get our relationship back on track, and all it does is get me no where and cause me stress/sadness.

My mum and her partner came to my wedding but they both kept their distance, and left after the ceremony. I was gutted, and her partner looks miserable in our wedding photos.

In the 5 years since I got married our relationship has become practically non existent. Out of nowhere I received a wedding invitation in the post.

I'm torn if I should go, most people say "it's their day not yours, just grin and bear it". But should I really drive 5 hours down south to attend a wedding when I don't even know the partner as they've made no effort with me? (Only met him about 3 times)

Should I do it for my mother, even though she's neglected me most of my adult life?

I know it's the final nail in the coffin if I don't go, but I'm not sure I'm really losing anything.

Nah, fuck that shit

Nope, politely decline.

If I was you I wouldnt go.

Nope. Generic card wishing them all the best and declining.

You are losing nothing.

No, thank you for your invite, sending well wishes but we are unable to attend.

No, why put yourself through that. Let them enjoy their day

I wouldn't go - no way.
Just politely decline and send a card so it arrives on the day of the wedding.

No I wouldn't go.

No don’t bother. She couldn’t be bothered with you, so why put yourself out?

She could t make the effort on you're day or in you're teenage informative years so il decline.

no

Not a chance I'd go.

She might have invites you out of duty as hard is that might be to hear. She will enjoy her day with or without you. I wouldn't bother and she can say what she likes to that.

I would not attend.

Nope, I wouldn't go.

Only go if you're doing it for you.it doesn't sound like she deserves your consideration. Maybe she's inviting you for show.

I wouldn't go. She hasn't made the effort with you, so why should you bother now? I would politely decline.

Ask yourself if you think you would regret it if you didn't go ? Would there be other family members/ friends there which you would like to see ? Can you tie in the wedding with a hotel stay somewhere lovely and make a nice weekend of that rather than just the wedding ?
I'm sure you'll make the right decision whatever you decide x

I was in a similar situation for my dad. I went as I like my extended family, but that was the only reason, to see them. Was awkward to be honest. If there will be people you like then maybe yes but completely understand if you don’t.

I'm tempted to say that you should go so that you can maintain the higher position for now and the future - who knows what it may hold but it'll hold a lot less if the tension between you is increased. Just a thought (and I speak as someone who took a court injunction out against my parents for something far more serious).

My answer would be fuck you very much for the invite but hell no..

In your shoes, OP, I wouldn't attend.

I'm sorry to say this, but isn't it likely she's invited you to present herself as a loving mother and in case there are any questions If she didn't?

Doesn't sound as there is anything to hold onto in this relationship and would let it go when you return the RSVP declining. No dramas but no obligation either.

Be prepared, though, for possible recriminations from her side, and calmly maintain your position. 🌹

Thank you everyone

I definitely wouldn't go. Especially given the fact she hasn't called and said "Hi Sending, how are you? I wanted to let you know me and MiserableFace are getting married and I'd love for you to be there." and instead just sent a piece of card.