I grew up in a large, highly dysfunctional family. Without dredging up the past, I had no idea about boundaries [and didn't even come across the concept of 'boundaries' until I was in my fifties!]. I ended up with a man who was a bully like my father...now my two grown sons are in serious conflict, unable to see the patterns repeating in their relationship. They are blind to their own flaws, but highly sensitive about the hurt they inflict on each other! They both claim to want to change. Can anyone recommend a book that would help us to understand each other better? [ I am just as bad-when I attempt to mediate between them, I only make things worse!] They make each other- and our extended family- unhappy. We need to put some work in to resolve our issues.