Relationships have ruled my life and now I have none?

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I don’t know where to start. I’m completely alone. I have two small children. I’m finding things unbearavly hard. Life has become a torture. My children are so beautiful and wonderful but that is a torture because I am not and the world is not. My ex husband hates me and drives me to be the exhausted emotional mess I am and then makes me feel shamed. 8 I don’t trust abyone anymore. Everyone reveals themselves to be utterly selfish. I am deeply depressed and chronically angry. I self harm and think about self harm as relief:

Oh that sounds awful. You are being very hard on yourself. Sounds like you need some support or therapy.

This is a sad post. Please see your GP straight away - do not hurt yourself - your DCs need you and love you. If they are wonderful children its because of their wonderful mother. Youve made them. I think you need some counselling to help you through. It is difficult being on your own but in time you will see that as liberating after a bad relationship.

I was terrified after my exh had affair and dumped me. I could see no future we couldnt have kids so i felt i had nothing. But it got better and it will for you. Try and limit the contact you have with exh - who cares if he hates you!

Being alone does have benefits! No clearing up after a man, no snoring, no doing anything you dont want to and not having to consider anyone else!

Please get some support samaritains friends please. You are worth it

We are not all like this
Sounds like your ex stopped you having friendships, so to spite him, joint some clubs, even if just to get out of the house.
Talk to other mums near by at the park...
Don't let him still rule your life.