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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Drained

10 replies

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 13/07/2019 20:18

Not sure what I'm hoping for but I just need to get this out there to make sure I don't go back like I have done so many times before.

My ex is a piece of shit. He has spat at me, thrown tea at me, ripped my clothes and split my head open but I've still taken him back so many times. He got his ex pregnant and has told me so many lies. I keep falling for them and I don't want to do this anymore.

The most recent lie was that he was raped as a child and that he was taken off a work course for attacking someone who had sex with a minor. That was a lie and he had made up that his son was suicidal because he couldn't hack the course anymore. Who lies about that?

Last night he just went awol. I can't do this. I don't know what I want from this thread.

OP posts:
IndecisiveMama · 13/07/2019 20:23

My sweet. You deserve so much better. Do you understand why you keep taking him back? Can you find a domestic abuse survivors group that can support you through this crisis? Or family and friends to help?
Wishing you strength, community and a happy future.
You got this x

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 13/07/2019 20:31

Thank you. I don't know why I keep taking him back. He keeps sucking me in and I can't do it anymore.

I have an IDVA but she wants to end support as she thinks everything is ok. I am just exhausted by the constant push-pull and then getting hurt again.

OP posts:
CupcakeBabaPoooo · 13/07/2019 21:01

Hopeful bump

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 13/07/2019 21:25

Ultimately no one can do this for you.

You have to say no to him. Stop taking him back. Stop letting him into your house, stop even talking to him.

He's your ex. Stop taking his calls.

Just say no (in your head).

Only you can do that and you must.

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 13/07/2019 21:33

I know. I just feel such an idiot for believing him. Who lies about that?

He never leaves anyone alone.

OP posts:
toffeeapple123 · 13/07/2019 21:44

Please call Women's Aid: www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

PicsInRed · 13/07/2019 21:47

Who lies about that?

HE lies about that. Because he's shit. 💩
Put him here and forget him. 🚽 🧻

No contact is the only way you'll ever be ok.

PicsInRed · 13/07/2019 21:48

It is in your power - you have the choice to cut him out of your life. That is your power.

solitarybeing · 13/07/2019 21:53

@CupcakeBabaPoooo you really need to dig deep to get out of this 'relationship' and you absolutely can with the right support. Although it may feel you're trapped in it you're not. It's not going to easy to break the going back but please get some support as you deserve so much better.

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 13/07/2019 22:04

Thanks everyone. I can't take it in. His whole life has been a lie. I just can't understand how I've fallen for it.

I'm meant to be intelligent.

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