How do I approach this? Should I be angry?

[juneflowers]

I was using the husband's mobile phone to pay for a trip we are sending his parents on as a thank you for all they do for our LG.

He knew, he was sat next to me. Anyway I closed the tab down and found numerous tabs all for an investors webpage. I thought nothing of it until this morning when he gave me his phone to upload pictures he had taken of our LG on to our laptop.

Going through them, I noticed a screenshot of an account with this same investor with a few hundred pounds in.

I didn't say anything to him. I didn't want him to think I was snooping (even though techincally I was) but what's bothering me is that it looks like he has opened an account with an investor and deposited money in it without even talking to me or consulting me.

I don't mean like ask my permission because it's not like that, but at least discuss this together?

I have text him asking him what the name of the investor is and why he has so many tabs on his mobile internet of the website's log in page (I know it's an investor because I googled it but don't want him to know that) and I'm yet to receive a response...

I'm wondering how I should feel about it if my suspicions are correct. I thought we were financially transparent as we don't have a joint account, but obviously not?

Thanks for an thoughts!

Not sure what you mean by depositing money in an investor. Do you mean an investment scheme for shares?

I would speak to him before being angry. Better to have conversation in person.

I think I'd be cautious about making too much of this. If,you don't have a joint account, a wise move IMO, then your finances are obviously separate and as long as he isn't using money you can't afford or had promised to spend on something else then where's the issue? Personally I would not expect my DW to tell me every time she spent a few hundred and nor would I feel obliged to tell her if I did the same, to me that would suggest we had each other under surveillance and imply distrust. If you have to raise it I suggest you do it as part of a general discussion about finances rather than make a specific issue of it.

@donquixotedelamancha yes it's exactly that. I've been quiet about it for around two weeks but then seeing the screenshots has made me suspicious.

I honestly wish I had said something this morning, I'm at work now and he's at home with the LO atm. Impulse got the better of me and I sent the text, he has read it but hasn't replied.

I'm not going to push it. He'll be at work by the time I get home, so won't see him until tomorrow (he works night shifts) so it's a conversation that may have to wait until I am off on Monday.

Do you have separate accounts? Is this ‘his’ money as opposed to part of your joint finances? If it is then it’s none of your business.

@Anothernick the only reason we have separate accounts is simply down to the fact he declared personal bankruptcy two years before we married. He insisted on seperate accounts until his seven years is up which will be this November.

So I genuinely understand what you mean about 'seperate finances' but it's hardly that in our case. Once my wages pay my car insurance and road tax, the rest is transferred into his account, I personally feel I do have a right to know what happens financially.

@juneflowers Ah I see, that puts a very different slant on things. If he has been bankrupt before then you have every reason to be suspicious. You do need to talk to him about it but it will probably reopen old wounds for him so take care in how you approach it. You probably shouldn't agree to a joint account even when his bankruptcy is finished, your credit rating will be affected. Depending on the circumstances of his bankruptcy he might need help managing money, a tricky topic, I've had more arguments about money with my DW than any other subject.

You give him all your wages? Are you crazy? And can you not see the bank statements?

Why on earth do you give him all your wages?

Surely he should be giving you all of HIS money, with his financial history??

Stop giving him all your wages!

I don't think transferring him your wages is a good idea, especially given his history with money. Can you set up a joint account for bills and other essential outgoings so at least you know they are covered, then make sure you have your own discretionary money as well?

So he insists on seperate accounts (so you cant see what he is up to) but gets you to transfer most of your money to his ?

Something very fishy here

Why do you give him your wages?!

It’s none of my husband’s business what my investments are from my personal money. I’d tell him if he asked, because he’s my husband. But I don’t tell him first - and he wouldn’t expect me to.

But then, I haven’t declared him The Boss of Our Money and started giving him my wages! Does he give you pocket money back?

Why would you give your wages to a bankrupt? That makes no sense. He has many fine qualities and abilities I’m sure, but he’s obviously not so strong with money. He shouldn’t invest in the markets either, that’s a dangerous game when you’re not clued-up.

My wages are very little. I only have a little part time job so I'm earning £500 a month at most. My wages are meagre in comparison to his and he doesn't restrict money. Once breakdown cover, fuel, insurance and road tax go out I have just over £300 left which I just transfer to him.

I have full access to his bank statements and such, the bankruptcy was simply down to him helping his brother. My DH got a large loan out for him, under the promise of his brother repaying him.

Due to circumstances beyond my husband's control his brother stopped paying after a year and left him with a debt he really couldn't afford, my DH had debts of his own. He was then made redundant and it unfortunately snowballed from there.

Our seperate accounts is down to him not wanting my credit score being affected. He doesn't control our money, as in if I say I need to get new shoes for LO and want to go shopping for some new clothes he won't restrict the money. He's not controlling at all, it's just the way we have it worked out.

He's usually so transparent about finances but the whole investor account thing he has never spoken of.

I work to simply fund my car and pay for our LO's hobbies. He funds everything else but he certainly isn't The Boss of Our Money. I don't need pocket money as I'm not a child, we just each let each other know if we need to make a purchase.