I had a close working relationship with someone a few years ago and through the nature of our work became closer than ‘normal’ work colleagues. I had a very difficult time at work and this person helped me a lot which made us closer. I think I began to fall in love with them, not in the part of way that I would cheat on my partner and I didn’t ‘fancy’ them or fantasise about them, but my feelings for this person were deep and confused.
We both ended up leaving for unrelated reasons and moving away. I deliberately reduced and then cut contact because my heart was aching for this person in a way it shouldn’t.
A couple of months ago our paths crossed again at a conference and then again soon after at another conference, both unexpectedly. There is a chance they will be moving closer to me again (although not actually working together). I’ve not had contact since the conferences but the problem is my heart is aching again and the feelings I have are deep, complicated and unwanted. I managed to get them out of my mind but now I’m back to square one. I have no idea if it reciprocated and it really doesn’t matter as I don’t want to feel this way and would never ever act on it.
Has anyone else healed or recovered from this kind of heartache? Seeing them takes me back to difficult time in my life which also makes it complicated.