Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Untitled

10 replies

jussy1 · 29/07/2007 14:51

Hi Maysum, i read your notice and i did just the same thing hun i thought i had found a really good man cos he displays this side to all. I do hope you took all the advice and got rid i did and it was the best thing i did only trouble is i have a 16 month old daughter by him and he comes here to ake care of her while i work, i kicked him out cos he slapped the baby at 11 months old i cant prove it and he lies about it. What to do i dont know i am in the procesas of looking for a childminder but that means when he has her he takes her out and she is so young i really dont know what to do for the best any advice?

OP posts:
quiveutmabonnebaguette · 29/07/2007 15:00

Ermmm.never leave him ever again with her for a start...How can you slap an 11 months baby ? If he already does it, what is he going to do when she's a lively toddler ?

Original poster
jussy1 · 31/07/2007 16:09

My hands are tied by the law although we were never married he is on the birth certificate so if i dont let him around to look after her i cant work which means no home then he would be free to take her out at his pleasure legal rights are equal now apparently

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/07/2007 16:12

Have you taken advice on that jussy1 or is that what he's told you ? Can you check out alternative childcare through Surestart perhaps ?

americantrish · 31/07/2007 16:23

wait, he slapped an 11 month old?
social services need to be alerted. (its abuse.) talk to your GP, HV as well as they may have advice for you on this.

your hands arent tied by the law. but i would highly suggest seeking some legal advice from a solicitor (you may qualify for legal help.)

you dont have to leave her with him if you work. you may qualify for working tax credit which will help with nursery costs.

if you think he will hurt her, you need to NOT let her with him. go with your gut instinct on this, not on any feelings you have for him.

chel86 · 01/08/2007 16:52

I'm with americantrish on this. You do NOT need to leave your DD with him, and if you think he may harm her again, you are well within your rights to refuse access to her and seek legal advice. Until a professional tells you that he HAS to see her then you need not leave her alone with him - you're looking out for the welfare of your precious daughter and no-one can critisize (sp?!) you for that.

I'm a registered childminder and if a mother/father came to me and told me that the other parent was not to pick their chid up, then the other parent can't - full-stop. They can kck and scream but that child would not be let out of my house with that parent if I was told not to. AND, if the child came in to my home with any unexplained bruising or a sudden change in behaviour/personality, then it would all be recorded and I would seek advice personally from OFSTED, because I would be worried.

Your hands are NOT tied.

Original poster
jussy1 · 02/08/2007 17:54

Thanks all for your replies it is a great help i might actually try my doctor, i know he slapped her but have no proof he says he will tell all i have smacked her nice chap ay. I would love to put her in a nursery but they start at 8am and i start work at 6.30. checked out the law with parentline and they say there are loads of kids worse cases than mine and father has rights it is a new law kids born after 2003 if dads on birth certificate has as much right. I think it sucks myself hes also argued with my 17year old daughter and is feeling sorry for himself, but gonna try my doctor. Thanks everyone

OP posts:
americantrish · 03/08/2007 11:57

you probably wont need proof. i didnt when there was an incident with my ds. no one asked for proof.
he may have rights to her, but you dont have to be so lenient. - i would seek legal advice, talk to social services. your doctor is a good place to start.
but you need to tell someone sooner rather than later.

Original poster
jussy1 · 03/08/2007 19:36

Thanks all for your advice. I am going to start at my doctors and solicitor, if anyone is interested i found a site called caffcas which is also good for help and advice worth a nosey at,

OP posts:
americantrish · 06/08/2007 10:33

cafcass is usually good when having to sort out things with children, they act on the child's behalf. if this all goes to court with your partner (soonto be ex?) CAFCASS will probably have to get involved unless the 2 of you can sort something out on your own or thru negotiations with solicitors.
best of luck to you....

Original poster
jussy1 · 06/08/2007 18:07

Thanks american trish

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread