Partner turns nasty and horrible to me as soon as something bad happens in his life

[Mazarati]

My partner firmly believes he's well within his rights to become surly, nasty and demanding whenever something remotely bad happens in his life. Even having an emotional session with his therapist can justify this in his eyes.

I find it VERY difficult to offer endless niceness, sympathy and comfort for him in times of distress due to his nasty behaviour. I usually end up snapping back and questioning his behaviour, and then all hell breaks loose because I'm not being supportive of him. He says I'm a selfish 'b' and have apparently not an ounce of empathy.

His mother just went for a heart test and I am extremely worried as well, but already he has turned and I'm snapping back at him and thus being accused of no sympathy for him nor caring that his mother is having a heart test, which is totally untrue.

It's got me doubting myself, am I an unempathetic, horrible person for not being able to overlook his behaviour at times like this?

Thanks in advance!

My partner firmly believes he's well within his rights to become surly, nasty and demanding whenever something remotely bad happens in his life.

He's using you as a whipping boy to take out his frustrations, like a toddler getting annoyed.
Do not tolerate it from a grown adult, tell him to pull his head out of his backside or fuck off to the far side of fuck.

The sign of a decent person is not how they behave when times are good (when it's easy to be nice) but how they behave when times are bad. Unless he's gets this and is willing to change (people rarely change), then he's not a keeper.

What do you get out of this?.

Why have you at all put up with this abuse from him?. He should no longer be your partner.

Why is he seeing a therapist?.

And you are putting up with this why..???
You don't have to tolerate shitty behaviour.
Can you imagine this for the rest of your life?
I'd be making plans to get away as fast as possible.

You’re his punchbag.

You’re his punchbag.

And that won't change.

Being nice and kind and understanding doesn't work with him. He takes all of his anger and stress out on you and he feels fully justified in doing so. It will be ever thus.

Is this how you want to live your life?

You don’t have DC? Hope not.

Run for the hills.

Exactly same with my ex
I divorced him
I wasn’t going through life like that

Just think how much better it will be if you may him and/or have a child with him. He won’t even have to pretend to be nice to you, because he knows there’s even less chance of you leaving. Either leave him and live a life free from abuse, or accept that you will be his emotional punchbag for life. Nothing you do will change a man like this.

I know a couple of people like this (a father and son funnily enough) and it’s because they’re emotionally stunted in ways.

It’s like they’re punishing other people for things which aren’t in their control (including the other people on the receiving end) and are unable to express feelings in a mature way.

Why are you tolerating this ?

He sounds like a piece of shit.