How do you leave a relationship you just can't seem to leave?

[CoolCalmCoffee]

3 years in, Too much has happened for me to be excited about the relationship any more, I'm almost resentful. I hate confrontation, so usually just ignore things that have upset me, or I'm told not to talk about it. We don't live together, and between work and my kids I barely have enough time to give, and often feel flustered and pressured on the phone. It's such a shame, because it started so well.

But, even though I have been presented with multiple chances to leave, as in, he's done something which is bad enough to excuse my exit, I try, I feel sure about it, but a week or so later I'm back (after much effort on his part to tell me what I want to hear). I just can't to quite to the right point. And I know I just feel guilty because I'm treating him how I want to treat any human.

You have absolutely no ties to this man so leaving should be very easy in a practical sense, your emotions are getting in the way. Sometimes you just need to be brave and rip the plaster off I’m afraid, it’s the only way.

You know it isn’t working for you, you’ve given it your best shot but it’s time to move on with your life now. No point wasting both of your time frantically trying to keep a failed relationship going.

Just stop answering the phone! You have no ties so it should be easy.

Tell him it's not working, block him, and put all of your energy into your children.

Emotionally it might be hard but if he's given you that many reasons in the past that you could use as your excuse to end it, you shouldn't struggle too much.

Write down a list of all the reasons you don't want to be with him and refer back to it when you're feeling like you want to make contact.

I know that it is hard to do, but this was me this time last year- it did take me hitting rock bottom, from the pressures that you describe alongside a serious health scare that made me realise that I couldn't continue to put in the time that I didn't have anyway into something which was filling me with dread every time I thought about it- then with the help of my best friend, and having started anti-anxiety meds (best choice I made!!! love not being a trembling mess all the time!) I was able to cut ties, and get out of the relationaship, having tried several times in the summer, it finally happened just before Christmas!

you don't have extensive ties to him, so just cut contact, block his number - do whatever break-up activity allows you to process/grieve the relationship, then enjoy the freedom/reduced drain on your emotional resources

Thank you for your replies. I feel quite pathetic, and as I said, I feel like a bad person for not treating him as I want to treat a partner. There's a divide between my life and his and I now won't invite him into mine (or especially my kid's life) and that's not nice.
I do of course still have strong feelings for him, and we've been through quite a lot together, he's also helped me in many ways, however, he's also hurt me in many ways. Pink is right, it's not practicalities, it's emotions getting in the way. I also wince at the thought of him with someone else, although I don't want to hold him back.