How to give children a good life when you feel broken?

[ExtraFox19]

I feel like I’m just running on a hamster wheel. Things feel relentless. I am intensely lonely but never away from my children. I love them intensely and I am
Mostly able to be a joyful mother but a small amount of time I feel desperate and like I am a terrible mother they would be better off without. I have made big decisions i now have no confidence in. I see very little good in anything ahead for any of us and am terrified by my sons vulnerability ( asd). I have no support and feel
Manipulated and let down by my family. Has anyone felt like they are looking into a black hole and come out the other side?
My sons autism is relevant because I get no mental
Peace or chance to take care of myself.

The fact that you care enough about your son to ask this question means he is likely already having a good life, with a mother who cares about him.
How old is your son?
Can you seek out some support groups in your area? Online support groups may be useful where you can speak to other parents in a similar situation.
Consider speaking to your GP about getting some assistance.
Can you implement short daily rituals that will benefit you and him? Like a walk in the park or making afternoon tea together? It doesn't have to be expensive for you and he to spend quality time together.

Are you a single parent? I am and it's been really hard at times. Loneliness was worse when she was small, not so bad now. I think we feel guilt when we centre ourselves and our feelings but we shouldn't. It's important to acknowledge how you feel and if you need help.

What do you think needs to change? What would make life a little easier for you?

Sounds like you are feeling really low at the moment ExtraFox19. Is there anything in particular that has triggered this?

Sounds like you are a single parent - is that right? Do your DC see their other parent at all?

I'm a single mum and one of my DCs has autism, so I know how tough it is. Sometimes you are muddling along ok and other times it feels like the burden of it all is just too much.

Can you tell us a bit more about what is going on right now that has made you feel overwhelmed?

Big hugs - there is lots of support to be had here.

No words of wisdom I'm afraid.. single mum to 2.. my mum is an amazing support but lives a fair way away, few friends none of which understand or seem to care despite having expressed so many times how lonely being a single parent can be, I work but money is tight, no social life... I feel like I just plod on there's no joy, no enjoyment in life nothing to look forward to it honestly feels each night like I'm ticking off the days until I die...

I live in a village in a rural area so no chance of improving my social life or expanding friendship circle, I would if I could so i know I'm not depressed I've just made some stupid life choices & now have to suck it up & carry on!

Possibility of moving to a livelier place in 2 years once eldest leaves college so I'm hanging on to the hope that this is a glitch!!

My son has asd op. Do you feel like this all the time or only some of the time? The reason I ask is because I go through phases of feeling the same. I think it’s both natural to feel that way some of the time, but also necessary to process these emotions through counselling, have you had any op?