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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I best help ?

1 reply

Dan120498 · 11/07/2019 16:47

My son, aged 21, recently got his dream job as a personal trainer at a gym he has trained at for the last 5 years, he built up friendships with the trainers even before he applied to work there, so getting his acceptance letter was a real moment. After getting off to a flying start with excellent feedback from clients and staff alike, he had a new manager who firstly picked on him, and secondly failed his probation without as much as a word beforehand. We were gobsmacked, until we found that she had appointed her best friend who relocated from up north, my son was the only member of staff with less than 2 years service and therefore no employment rights. He was escorted from the gym, forbidden to go back either as a guest or member for 12 months, he was kicked out of the group chat, his job was even advertised internally before he had been told he was leaving. He and I were devastated - seeing your grown man child cry is sould destroying. He has moved on to another gym, self employed so hard work, and is again doing well. But he has moments of self doubt, nightmares where he relives the whole experience, it follows him round like a black cloud. He has a very supportive girlfriend and between us we are trying to keep him positive, but he panics that he wont make this work, panics every time someone says that he is due a review - his confidence is on the floor. She and I have been to his classes and he is brilliant - but he wont take it from us - has anyone else been through anything similar ? How can I help him, or does he just have to man up, grit his teeth and accept that bad things happen in life and move on ? I cant wrap him in cotton wool but hate to see him hurting.

OP posts:
RLEOM · 11/07/2019 18:06

I'm sorry your son went through this, especially after working so hard.

Unfortunately, poor behaviour by managers occurs a lot in work places, so he needs to try and see it as a learning curve and that it was her that was being shitty and unprofessional, not him.

I have to say, I wouldn't take compliments from family and friends after what he's been through. With time, I'm sure he'll get complemented on his work by clients etc which should hopefully build his confidence.

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