boyfriend

[18july]

Age 17, I was going out with a boy for 4 months he finished with me on Saturday night and I went with an ex on Monday and Tuesday.

Now my bf that finished with me says he misses me and would like to see me today. He goes away next week for 6 weeks so I am torn between these two.
Do I need to tell the boy that finished with me on Saturday that I kissed someone else. It is nothing serious with my ex we are really good friends and just had a quick kiss. He's away to the weekend.

It my boyfriend that finished with me Saturday that I really want, but just can't help been hurt that he finished with me said he didn't want a serious relationship because I asked him to go to a family meal. I go to his house about 4 times a week but he has never came to mine. I just feel he not making enough effort. He has anxiety and says this is why he won't come to my house.

Should I go meet him this evening, we just hang out and chat and kiss nothing beyond that.

I just thought some of you experienced mums would give me advice.

My own mum told me to go ahead but not to tell him I kissed another boy if I really like him. She said he finished with you. You did nothing wrong. You didn't know how he was go to feel 4 days later.

He finished with you. Move on. He'll just piss you about. He does not need to know what you've been up to since he dumped you. You can tell him if you like but do not take him back.

You deserve better! Move on from this lad!

He’ll continue to mess you around. It sounds like you’re putting in much more effort than him and it should be 50/50. He has no right to upset you (by dumping you) and then crawl back into your life on his terms! Don’t listen to his excuses either. I think he may be playing the anxiety card to manipulate you. He doesn’t sound mature enough to be in a relationship!

Also, you don’t need to tell him anything as you weren’t together when you kissed your ex so it’s really none of his business.

Dont meet him.

He is messing you around. He just wants to make sure you dont meet someone else while he is away.

Chances are he will do what he wants while you wait at home.

I wouldn’t get back together with your ex just now. Maybe catch up with him on a friends basis before he leaves, and suggest he spends the 6 weeks working out if he really wants to be with you. You could say, if he does, there are certain things in the relationship you would need to change (if you want him to come with you to some of your family events, for example - that doesn’t seem a lot to ask).
Meanwhile, you can also spend the 6 weeks thinking about whether YOU really want to be with HIM.
I wouldn’t make any promises either. You might meet the lad of your dreams while he is away - you don’t want to feel tied to him and unable to act on it, if you do. After all, your ex has hurt you - you don’t OWE him anything.
In the meantime, fix up some fun things to do with friends over summer while he is away, so that you don’t spend your whole time thinking about him and hoping he will text/call. You are young and you sound like a lovely person - you deserve to have a fab summer and enjoy yourself, not spend your whole time being cut up about a boy! (Easier said that done, I know).
And no reason at all to mention kissing the other lad. Your ex dumped you - you were (and are) a free agent. What did he expect you to do - remain faithful to his memory forever?

I’d sack both of them off but I’m not 17 and I realise it’s tougher to do so when you are. They both sound like a waste of time.

He just wants to make sure you don't meet someone else while he is away.

This exactly!

He dumped you.
Just stay dumped.
You don't have to tell him anything that happened while you were not together.
Don't meet him.
Just let him know that you are fine with the decision to split and you don't want to get back into anything with him again.
You are 17. Very young.
Don't go running back to people who dump you.
That way, madness lay!!!

I'm going against the grain here but I'd say meet him before he goes away BUT dont tell him about the other lad. At your age you should be keepkn things casual, going out with different lads & not getting hung up about the odd snog or fumble.

I think tiny vultures advice is spot on.