Age differences

[girlanonymous]

Can a relationship with a 12 year age difference work and last?
Woman is 27, going to be 28, and man is 39, going to be 40, this year.

Man is unmarried, no kids. Woman has one young child.

I guess it depends on the couple.

Tbh relationships with that big of a gap kinda make me cringe.
But...maybe something about it just works for her.

She'd have to be aware that if a man has reached forty with no kids and no wife, it is very possibly because he doesn't want those things. And I certainly would doubt him if he said he 'just never found the right woman'. More likely he is a picky git and no one could live up to his standards...hence, chasing after a woman her age in the first place. But he probably still wont want to commit.

I'd say, go for it for now, if he is a nice person (make sure you read up on cluster b's, gaslighting and lovebombing ect...but I guess that's a smart move before getting into any relationship) and take it as it comes, but maybe don't expect anything serious from him.

And keep him away from your kid for a loooong time.

I am mid thirties and dp is 15 years older than me. No issues at all. Not sure about old age though!

Those ages aren't too bad.
I cringe if someone is young enough to be a child to that person or old enough to be a parent to that person. If that makes sense?
But why has he never found the right person by his age?
I'd wonder about that.
Just take it slowly and see how it pans out.
As long as you have no expectations then you won't be disappointed.

12 years doesn't strike me as massive tbh.

My other half is 12 years older than me. We have been together 30 years. It has not always been easy. At this point in time our relationship is stronger than it ever has been - but we are having to navigate the fact that he is starting to feel his age and is getting less mobile whereas I am the fittest I have ever been. We do things like take holidays in places where I can be active while he can relax but if we were the kind of couple who were joined at the hip and had to do everything together it would not work at all.

That isn’t a huge age gap whatsoever, he’s not old enough to be her Father for example.

I have a friend whose DH is 30 years older, she met him when she was 19... He has children who are older than her. They do look like quite odd as a couple but they’ve been very happy for the best part of a decade now so hats off to them.

My ex was 13 years older, met similar ages to the OP.
We separated a decade later.... I felt like I was living with a grumpy old man. I got sick of him talking down to me because he felt he was older and therefore more experienced with everything. It just didn't work.
But equally I have friends with the same gap who have been together 15+ years and very happy.

The gap isn't too bad.

I can't think of a reason that it wouldn't - myself & OH have an 8 year age difference & other than him not having a clue when we talk about certain kids programme's & him asking me if they were in black & white it's fine

Age gap seems fine.

I'd be wondering why he was still single and why he was interested in me as a much younger person and new Mum. I'd be watching for any predatory and/or controlling behaviour.

I would keep him away from my child for a long time. If he shows excessive enthusiasm for meeting/hanging out with child, early on, he's gotta go.

I’m 14 years older than my dp, soon to be dh. We are very happy

19 between me and DH. Been together 13 years. We have similar interests and outlook on life. Nothing cringe about it.

My DH is 11 and half years older than me, and we have been together for 25 years (3 children of our own, plus my step daughter, as well as 2 beautiful grand children).

My situation was the reverse of yours, as in, I was the one who hadn't been married before and didn't have children when we met, whereas my DH was divorced with one child.

Funnily enough, I heard through the grapevine (at the beginning of the relationship) that a couple of relatives had made snidy comments like "It will never last" and "It will all be over within the year" - only for one of them to have since got divorced, and the other one is having marriage counselling.

Only you truly know what this person is like OP, and if you think the situation feels right, then why shouldn't you go for it and see what happens. Good luck.

That's not too much of an age gap. DH is almost 15 years older than me. I'm 47 now and the cracks in our marriage are swallowing us up, no lie. I am feeling the gap, big time. But the gap isn't why we're not doing well, if that makes sense. It started when he hit early 50s. He just let himself go. Let us go. And he's just grumpy. But you know, I think that he hasn't changed. He's just become an extreme version of who he always was. And youthful good looks forgive so very much.

So if your partner is a really nice, empathetic, warm, engaging person now, that's who he'll always be. We all get older but that doesn't mean all of us become crusty grumps.
It's ALL about looking at life in a similar way. DH and I have totally different views and approaches to life and the people in it. And if he were a year younger than me, we'd still have the same problems because we are so very different. Our objectives are different. What we want out of life is different. And our age gap has nothing to do with that.