Not sure where to start so I’ll try with this...
So was with this guy for just over a year now, he ended it again yesterday after ending then not ending it for about 7 months. I guess there was red flags from the start e.g him battering me about my past and seeing quite a few more people than him. Since about January he has been up and down about us but being nasty in between,commenting on how my appearance has changed, that I didn’t have a job (due to my anxiety) he made a comment once saying if someone had of told him a year ago he would of been with a single jobless mother he would of laughed in their face. He once said have I got tumours in my legs (because they had got bigger) said maybe he isn’t looking for the perfect person just the perfect version of me. I once locked us out his house and I said sorry and he said doesn’t mean sh*t now you’re stupid hence all your past mistakes. Said none of my ex’s would look twice at me now. We split a month ago and I stupidly contacted him after four days we got talking again then gave it another go, he said he was bored and there was no excitement and I did try I feel but he never did anything back so should it of been all down to me? I took a job last week and just realised it wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life ( no clue what will become of me) so I quit a week after and he said he was disappointed in me and then stopped talking and finished it a day later. He said there was lots of factors like the fact I had a child so young, the fact he has money saved up and I have nothing and I’m starting from scratch, the fact we’re in a bubble. He was telling me to go back blonde in the past months which I want to anyway but it seemed to based on how I looked and last time he said he wasn’t sure if me putting weight on and changing my hair has made things change for him. he even made a good and bad list about me and pointed out a lot that there was only five good things and 15 bad. He took this list to a councillor on Monday, which he didn’t tell me he was going to see then just rang yesterday telling me about it, I feel like I haven’t tried hard enough and he said he can’t force it etc. My car blew up at the weekend and I was very overwhelmed with the new job and just started to cry and he just sat there emotionless. He said he was bored and wants excitement which I did try to do once we got back together he felt it wasn’t getting returned. He wasn’t like this at the start it was literally perfect and I don’t know what I’m meant to think or do. Feel I’m in a massive black hole right now. Any advice/comments would be appreciated x