I just needed some space to vent. I am starting to feel very lonely and dissatisfied in my 3 year relationship. He is a mostly nice guy, however things are getting progressively worse, not better, and I'm struggling, I shall vent in points.
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He drinks a LOT every day. I'm taking 9 500ml 5-7.9% beers every single day, and when I try to talk to him about it he denies he has a problem. He knows I am a recovering alcoholic, and find it hard to be around. When he is drunk he accuses me of texting/sexting other men, eventhough he goes through my phone when he likes - and likes to pull apart my personality and complain about our sexlife etc. I am so over it, I am starting to emotionally withdraw, eventhough the next day is full of apologies etc. The last time this happened he pissed all over the bathroom, and whilst I was cleaning it up, he lobbed a urine soaked toilet roll at my head and found it funny.
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we are lucky enough to be in a position that neither of us have to work. However since he makes most of the financial contributions (I moved to a different country to be with him and cannot work) he is almost in total control of everything we do and buy which is frustrating. Especially when he shoves it in my face. On a few occasions when he has been drunk he has demanded 'how about a fucking thank you? I just bought our food shop' or things to that equivalent. He also does not help with any housework unless I ask him too, and I do all of the cooking/laundry etc.
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he is so negative all the time. ALL the time, and its dragging me down. He is either quiet and moody, or wishing for an asteroid to come and hit the earth because he 'hates people', he cant possibly understand why I dont like to engage with him at those moments.
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sex. If you listened to him, youd think we never had it and that he was the most hard done by bloke on the planet. I sometimes give him 3 blow jobs in one day, and he still complains that he is 'sex deprived' because I'm on my period. Yeah mate, being on my period isn't that much fun for me either. He complains that the sex we do have is too vanilla, and that he wants to get 'dirty' but I dont want to do those things. He also humps me all the time, and fondles me at inappropriate moments I.e. when I'm cooking holding sharp knives etc. I also get pestered non stop and end up giving in, even if I've previously said I'm not feeling it at that moment. He also wont shut the fuck up about anal. Its driving me insane.
When he is sober and not in a hangover induced mood etc, he is lovely and we get on pretty well. But I just dont think I can see this going much further how it is now.