Someone help me figure this all out (relationship after long distance)

[chickenlittle12345]

I've posted previously about whether or not to leave DP after some things were said and I was left feeling like he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. Since then we have bimbled along and he has said that he doesn't want me to leave etc.

He is coming home after 6 months away next week and I am really not sure how to handle it. We are speaking very sporadically, although not really this week. We have't made any plans for when he gets back as we're not sure of his work commitments and I didn't want to push any difficult topics. I am aware that leaving is still an option for me, or a break up could be on the cards although it would seem more logical for him to do that whilst he is away. Even though I am unhappy with how things are at the moment, I don't think that launching into that with no positive foundation is going to end well.

Has anyone else been in this situation? I feel like the distance and time apart has just meant we have become disconnected and this may change next week? I don't know how to handle it, or how to play things once he gets back.

For info, I also have struggles with job fulfillment right now, family members being unwell, being far from family and general day to day struggles and would much like to curl into a ball and hibernate for a week/year.

Any tips?

Where has he been? Did you spilt up and he moved out or has he been with another woman or working away or in prison or on holiday ?
Depends why he has been away as to how to handle it .
You need to have an honest chat with each other about what you want and how to achieve it .
Ignoring each other won’t help.

Hi @Fidgety31
He has been in a different country training with work, we're together and have been the whole time. He didn't have a choice as to where he had to go, and has done as training as quick as possible, although there have been a tonne of delays.
I want to talk about it but he doesn't like talking about things like this - although we can't not...

How old are you both & how long have you been together? Are you living together & if so what's the financial/legal situation? Your communication recently has been sporadic & you say he doesn't like talking about these things anyway but if there are problems they need to be aired & discussed - if they can be resolved great, but it may just be that this relationship has run its course.

We are both 27, have been together 3.5 years and are engaged. We won't be living together when he gets back as he has more training with work but he will be close enough to see each other every weekend/maybe an evening in the week. Not tied financially or legally.
I don't know whether to just say look if you want out then say it, if not then bloody act like it!

That last statement sounds like a plan. You have to be totally honest and free to express how you feel now or it will never work anyway.

People gave you good advice about this man. Ignore at your on peril.

I want to talk about it but he doesn't like talking about things like this

You mean he doesn’t like to talk about anything that might require him to think about things from another’s point of view. An avoidant communication style is not something you should be in a relationship with, let alone committed to marry.

Your gut is telling you something, listen.

Thanks all, I appreciate the advice, and am not ignoring it!