Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Grandparents & alcohol

4 replies

Aprilmum1 · 10/07/2019 01:04

My LO is 2 months old, and I'm having anxiety having him around my parents in the evenings. Over the last 5 years, their alcohol dependency has become worse and more noticeable. They are retired, no kids in the house, and are sweet well-intentioned people. However, good intentions aren't good enough around a newborn.

For the most part, we don't see them in the evenings- problem solved. But sometimes we will have to (eg. family trip; family wedding coming up). They do live quite close to us as well. The amount they drink is only increasing over the years, and I don't want my child growing up around them when they're blind drunk.

Suggestions for how to have a conversation with them about this? Should my siblings & I have an intervention, as it's only getting worse? I'm not sure what approach will work, as they are heavy smokers and all of us have asked them to reduce or quit for their health and ours for many years. They say they will try and nothing ever changes. I know I can't control their behavior, only my own (but would nonetheless love it if something did change).

DH & I agreed not to be around them when they're drunk. If we have to (eg. family wedding), no contact with the baby. Other boundary suggestions?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/07/2019 01:18

What is your major concern? Normalisation of alcohol, safety, behaviour?

You are right that you can't change them. Be very clear about your boundaries and they make their own decisions.

Aprilmum1 · 10/07/2019 01:55

Safety. We were with them for a family event recently, and my dad went to rub LOs head (affectionately, I'm sure he thought) and pushed his thumb right on the soft spot. Stepmom went to pick him up, and when I asked her how many drinks she'd had she didn't know (and was at the stumbly-drunk point). All well-intentioned, but not at all safe for a newborn. And giving me massive anxiety.

OP posts:
Rachelover40 · 10/07/2019 03:39

Please do speak to them. That may make them modify their drinking habits.

loudnoises1 · 10/07/2019 03:47

I had a similar situation with my dad in that he seems to be a bit old school in his interpretation of the drink driving laws.

I was very straight with him and told him if he didn't stop, he didn't see his granddaughter, it was that important to me. & when he saw how serious I was, he has stopped.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.