I finally know the truth

[welliesarefuntowear]

I can't believe the amount of lies I have been told by him. She has messaged me, she even offered for us to have a heart to heart about it as she feels that we have both been led up the garden path! . As though I'm going to form some sort of sisterly solidarity with her. It takes a special kid of stupid to be an OW. They have been seeing each other since September, they have been living together since I threw him out three months ago and they had plans to move away together. I'm not heartbroken anymore. I'm relieved. I know now. He's so very fucking sorry. Jesus what a fucking mess.

It sounds like you are in a strong place. Good for you for moving on. I hope you stay strong and meet somebody trustworthy.

I'd be tempted to take her up on the heart to heart and find out everything you wish to know.

Then block them both.
He's not the person you thought he was, so sorry.

Why does she want to see you if they're moving in together? To suss out the competition? To see if you can play happy families? Be wary of her motives op.

Take her up on it - make sure she knows about your side & what he was saying/doing (because that’s only going to be bad for him!) & make it clear it’s a one time deal.

Then I agree with pp, block and move on. Yes, being the OW is stupid - but she was probably sold a tale that made her justify it (he could have told her anything- that you’d cheated, that it was already over, that you knew/he was single etc...so many options for a liar and cheat to choose if they are morally bankrupt).

She will be in your boat soon with another OW messaging her.

Block, move on, stay strong.

Ive been there.

I’d take her up on the meeting and let her know all the lies that he’s told. Screw them both. Then block and move on. He’s toxic and people like him never change

Why does she want a heart to heart with you?
They live together.
She won the cheating, lying, scumbag prize.
What does she want to talk about?
Is he now cheating on her?
Very odd request from her.

I'd ignore her, no meet up, no nicey nicey. If it's over for you, 3 months ago you chucked him out, what would you benefit from it, heartache probably, she wants to clear her conscience at the risk of your MH, hearing how hes lied will probably play on your mind. Move on, you've had a lucky escape x

I agree with not meeting her, she could be after a bit of triangulation, feeding off the "drama" of meeting the betrayed spouse. Whatever she is after no good can come of meeting her, leave her to enjoy her "winning" a liar and a cheat.

Did she know about you or was she absolutely in the dark about you?

If it was the former, you know all you need to know. She's doing this either for drama, or to exonerate herself. So why would you help her crisis of conscience? Fuck her.

And even if it was the latter, she's taking him on in spite of the lies he's spun her. So again, not your problem.

Remember not all ow know they are a ow! I'm divorcing and on my forays into dating half or more who have approached me are married (and not separated) I'm just careful so check them out, it's easy these days!

So many things factor in, don't assume she knew when they met

Why does she want a heart to heart with you?

So she can feel better/like a good person. A la Carrie in satc.

Also so she can get info out of you to see if his stories are true/if he's not been shagging you etc.

That's exactly what I think Morality, she is an utterly contemptuous cunt who is thriving off the drama of this. I've no intention of meeting her. She's just trying her best to ensure that she makes things as difficult as possible for me and him to parent. I've blocked her. Thanks for the messages, it does help when you're going through this shit as it hurts so fucking bad.

She definitely knew about me and that he had a family. They are both in their fifties. She has been messaging him for a long time before the affair started. She has taken great pleasure in telling me all of this because he has dumped her because he said he has made a mistake and wants to come back.