Family reactions to pregnancy

[PTheCat]

Most of my family have just been normal - happy for me and excited but not going crazy.

My brother though, hasn't said a word to me about it (no congratulations when I put on our family WhatsApp chat that I was pregnant and again nothing when I said we were having a boy - I live far away so haven't seen anyone in person yet).

My sister is the total opposite! I get that she's really excited but she keeps "joking" about things like coming to live with me and DH and being the baby's nanny, that if there's not space for her to stay with us when she visits she'll share my bed. I just find it weird. I don't want my sister living with me and my husband or sharing our bed! And it's a weird thing to joke about, it just makes me on edge. She also kind of acts like my DH doesn't exist sometimes, I'm visiting family soon so we're making plans and some of the things she says it's like she thinks he's not going to be there. Again, it's all just "jokes". But I hate it!

Of course I love my sister but she's not the person I've chosen to marry and start a family with. I kind of feel like a cow but her jokes just make me so uncomfortable. Whenever she makes these jokes I just repeat "no, you're not sharing my bed" or etc. and she'll persist a little bit and then say "I'm only joking". Ahh I hate it and don't know what to do! I don't feel like I can bring it up because she'll just tell me to lighten up and that she's joking. Plus I want my baby to have a good relationship with his auntie and I love that she's excited so don't want to drive her away.

Hi, crikey, what extreme reactions!

Is your brother in a relationship? Are they perhaps trying for a baby and struggling so he finds it difficult to congratulate you? Or discuss it? If it seems out of character I'd be tempted to drop him a private message asking if he's ok, say whilst you know not everyone gets excited about babies you thought it unusual that he hasn't been in touch so wanted to check all was well with him. If it's been on family group chat and it's a subject he's struggling with or if he's dealing with something else and finding it difficult to find happiness in others joy perhaps he is hoping his lack of acknowledgement will go unnoticed amongst the mass chat. I'd be concerned he was alright.

As for your sister I think I'd make some firm plans, have an idea in your head when you'd like her to visit, so if DH is taking paternity leave, you might appreciate a week or two alone with baby while you find your bearings, then she could come, or whatever suits you. Text her and say "so excited for you to visit and get to know baby! Thinking you could come when he's about 4 weeks and DH is back at work so we can enjoy each others company, we'll make up the spare room and so you won't b disturbed by overnight feeds" etc... Maybe take control of it and make the boundaries clear?