Porn one thing chatting to them another

[WhatGetsMeDownMakesMeStronger]

Ok this is hard for me excuse my grammar
For the past couple of weeks I've had weird emails from porn sites and chat sites I really couldn't understand why as I defo havnt been on anything like that.
So I ask my partner he says he has been Going on porn sites he's a man I don't have a problem with that what so ever so I ask so how do thy know your name he admits thay asked so I clicked on a link today n it turns out it's a chat site he's been talking to women i havnt trusted him for a long while ive had that gut feeling somthing isnt right but i didnt act on it n this has been going for weeks probably months but today i flipped kicked him out n yes he's gone I really don't know how I feel I don't feel anything but I'm scared that in a few days time it's Guna kick in I've got 5 kids from age 2 to 16 I can't feel like my world have caved in I need to be strong for them and myself I just don't know how
Please if anyone has been through this please give me some advice on how to keep my self together
Thankyou

Bump

Hi OP you do not deserve this, what a terrible shock. His mind is elsewhere so pat yourself on the back for kicking his sorry ass out to follow the rest of him. It’ll be hard but you’d never trust him again. You are best off alone. Function wise can you buy time by on line shopping, but cooking I’d you don’t already etc? Well done for being brave you deserve to be number 1 in a partner’s eyes

Thankyou so much for replying I've blocked his number I don't want to talk to him or hear his excuses I'm just Guna try focus on my kids and myself I still don't feel much at the moment I know I'll feel more in the morning and that's what I'm scared about I've had my heart broken once before n it was very hard panic attacks and all sorts I can't deal with that now as I have other people to think about

Deep breaths and focus- it’s not your fault he’s a twat dressed as a nice person, he’s just dropped his outfit and been found out. Nothing wrong with you, hold your head high and never compromise- it’ll be tough but in a couple of years you’ll reap the rewards - love for your
DCs - he’s scum at the bottom

Don't settle for that nonsense, it will be hard but you will be better off in the long run the mental torture for god knows how long if u stuck it out would be more painful than the brief pain you will have leaving him or kicking him out.

Love= live

He really is a twat dressed as a nice person he's every bloodys friend he's liked by everyone everyone he meets he morphs into so thy like him I just feel like the bloody fool that fell for it I'm so fucking heartbroken why did i not see it thankyou so much for replying I really appreciate it

Good for you! There's a HUGE difference between looking at porn and actually interacting with someone. And you know he knows that.

Stay strong!

As for practical advice:
Make a list of things you need to do. I know it will be hard, but seeing on paper the steps you'll take to get the best results for you and your children and marking them off as you accomplish them will be good for you. Lists help me feel more in control and less overwhelmed.I
Just write them all down, then number them by priority. Rewrite it in number order. As you do them, mark them off the list. Add to it as you need to. You might also make a list to remind yourself of the reasons you kicked him out. When he asks to come back it will be easier to refuse.

I'm sure other Mumsnetters will help you think about what you need to do.

Good luck!

Thankyou all for helping me through this I feel so heartbroken this morning I just wanna stay on bed n cry all day I feel broken but I know I have to be strong for the kids and me

Offering a different side of it because my perspective is a little different. So long as there is no intension to meet up with them and he’s not fixating on one specific person I still think it falls within the porn/fantasy realm.

This wouldn’t bother me personally within my relationship.