Navigating emotional abuse

[TTT720]

My husband shouts at me constantly, he even wakes me up in the night to demand my phone or search the bed - he thinks I am hiding a second phone but I am not. It is exhausting and very distressing. But here’s the dilemma - and I can’t believe I am writing this. I gave up my career to raise our children, and his was flourishing so all was good. But now we have big outgoings and I don’t work... so if I report him and he loses his job my children will suffer. He terrifies me - and I am no pushover but I don’t know where to turn. If I go to the authorities it could end his career - I am aware that sounds so weak and I am not - but I am trying to protect my childrens’ homelife as much as I can if possible. I am just trying to find a sensible way through this to preserve my sanity. Does anyone have any advice?

Please don't think you're protecting your children by staying. My whole childhood consisted of living around domestic abuse and the best thing my mother did was leave after years and years.

You don't have to report him to anybody to leave. This is not a good environment for any of you and you can't continue to live e like this. You need to leave him

You can just ring woman's aid, they will give advice and help you. He won't lose his job unless he's charged in court or you contact them.

You need to leave this man, I'm sure many on here will know of other support groups

That is abuse.
He “terrifies” you.
Your children are already suffering. They need a peaceful & safe home.

Omg thank you - you are telling me what I already know. And facing a slightly unknown future is daunting.... my children are definitely suffering as am I. He won’t let me sleep, he sends constant horrible texts to me (hundreds through the night), he tells me that I won’t cope on my own (I so will!)... I just am in a slight state of shock that I am in this position. One of my children is also very ill which adds to the stress. But thank you!

Oh op your post gave me chills...you DO have to leave he is damaging you and your children.
No amount of disruption will be as bad for them or you as this horrendous situation.

Please be brave and find a way, even if it means him losing his job, that is what benefits are for.

Thank you - I mean that. The kindness of strangers 😘 xxx

You will cope on your own. He is trying to scare you into staying. Do not fall for it you are worth so much more. He sounds horrible and scary and the fact he terrorises you like this sets alarm bells ringing. Don't worry about what will happen to him if you split. Whatever happens to him is the consequence of his own actions and he has to deal with them not you. Benefits are there to help those in need and you are in need. Get out quick 🤗🤗🤗