Lonliness and friendship

[Justthedogsbutler]

I am a long time user of mn, I've just name changed as I'm very a bit embarrassed.

But of a sad post but 2 years ago I moved counties to be with my now husband, all my friends seem to have been sort of lost or would be over a hour away, I commute to work 40 min each way and work shifts and find it hard to ask if anyone wants to do anything out of work because I suffer with anxiety and feel no one likes me. Plus I'm tied to a school run and the dog

The only people I see here are my husband or my MIL. The school mums are all nice but I find it hard to ask if anyone wants to be my friend and feel stupid.

I'm now expecting baby number 2 in October and I've signed up for NCT classes but I am
So lonely right now and I don't even know how to make a friend. A friend a distance away suggested getting a group of my friends together before baby arrives for afternoon tea and I realised I had absolutely no one to ask really.

Someone to go out for coffee with, or sit with our children at the park. Someone to just text. I tend to use a lot of forums, just reading, not even replying sometimes.

Husband is away for over a week now and although I'm working some of it I'm dreading my days off as I'll only have our dog to chat to really.

Anyway the point of my post is to ask if anyone knows how I could make some friends? Especially when I barely like myself let alone know how anyone else would like me or why they would want to be my friend?

Oh bless you. You sound lovely. You will meet some nice mums at NCT, I did after I had my DS. Where in the UK are you?

I hope so it just feels like the classes are so far away. I'm in the south east

Have you tried meetup or netmums? Netmums has local meet-up groups. I’d also suggest doing other antenatal things, not just nct. Pregnancy yoga?

Thank you, they were really good ideas. I'm going to look into it today.

I've found an aquanatal class too and was going to venture along today but as I've had a chest infection maybe it's not sensible

I find it hard to make friends and also moved to a new area when I got married and didn't know anyone. I have now been here 6 years and only recently have felt settled. I still wouldn't say I have many friends but I do have people I can text to have a coffee with or go to the park. The way I made friends was:

• went to loads of church playgroups and made an effort to talk to people. Over a few years I have made several friends this way and lots of acquaintances. I find having the focus on the children helps and gives common ground.
• I attend church so this has been a good way to make friends although it has taken a lot of time. I am not good at just going up to people and talking so have found ways to volunteer and get involved.
• tried to stop feeling sorry for myself and think that people are unkind and made more effort myself to put myself in situations I don't necessarily feel comfortable in.
• accepted play dates /meet-ups even when I really wanted to cancel.

I hope that helps and you feel less lonely soon.

Thank you