Divorce/separation from Narc what do I need to do?

[canary19]

Hi, I'm separating from my husband - I am beginning to realise his behaviour has been narcissistic and controlling. I am living at our home (joint names) whilst it sells - this could take some time and as he is now being mean to my eldest child (completely ignoring him and making a fuss over his biological child) I am thinking i just need to move into rented. I could just about do this as i work full time and have offered to pay him 1/2 the mortgage payments. He wants no less than 50/50 access with our youngest child. He is self employed (he invents things which historically have never paid all the bills and he spends unnecessarily. He has always had the say on all finances and we have got into debt. Although I've made my mind up to leave I still feel in a real fog about what to do. I 've seen solicitors but they seemed concerned about the money side whereas I'm more bothered about losing access to my daughter. I really can't stay in this house much longer- are there aspects that i am not considering - would it be terrible to move out?

DO NOT leave the family home.

Also, DO NOT agree to 50/50 on the children, where it has not been 50/50 before - that would be a ploy from him to reduce your settlement and child maintenance.

Take the lead from your solicitors. What are they saying? Did they advise you to sell the family home or is there a possibility of you keeping it whilst your younger child is small? Was it his idea to sell? That's not necessarily best for you/children. Don't focus only on the children. Money is what helps your support those children going forward. Money is food. Money is shelter. Be very calculating here as this is it - this settlement will potentially change the course of your life in terms of whether you are scraping by at retirement or able to live comfortably and able to help your children.

Whatever you do, don't take any guidance or direction from ex. He's not your friend, he's on a different team now. Fight for YOU.