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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Urgent advice needed about abusive ex

30 replies

Charlie09 · 07/07/2019 14:35

Hi, I desperately need advice as I’m going out my mind. My ex has been with someone else for ten months and throughout that time he’s been playing me too. It’s an ongoing cycle of him wanting sex with me, me saying no until finally I give in and he carries on until I’m then emotionally attached again, beg for us to be back as a family and then he texts saying ‘never contact me again’. This cycle has been repeated over and over. I stop contact and after a month he breaks it and the cycle goes on.
He’s so vile to me saying he doesn’t want to be with me and he loves her but won’t explsin why he keeps coming back to me and cheating on her. He’s gone so far as contact the police to stop me ever contacting her to tell him what he’s been doing. I’ve told her in the past and she’s not believed me and believes his lies.

Last week was what sent my head spinning. He kissed me and met up with me mid week and tried it on about three times in one week. He kept calling me etc but as I then said I think we need to chat and sort out what’s really going on he went mental. I opened up to him about how I was feeling and he threw it all back in my face. Up until then he had given me hope saying ‘I don’t know how he’s feeling about everything and it’s none of your business’ but he seems to do everything to protect his relationship with her and says if he wanted me he’d come back but he doesn’t and would never come back. I said his actions speak differently to his words as he makes out he loves her but lies and cheats on her. Says he hates me and doesn’t think about me or us and yet constantly tries it on with me. He’s miserable like me when we do no contact but when we have contact he gets stressed and anxious as he thinks I’ll tell his girlfriend! He’ll even text me ‘I don’t want you to contact me agsin’ If I’ve text and then he’ll call me to talk?! (So he can show people the text that looks like he’s asking me to leave him alone).
I’m getting to the point where it’s unfair his smug girlfriend thinks she living a fairytale with him (their words) yet he’s abusing the mother of his children behind her back and living another life! He’s made it so I hate her and she hates me. I just wish someone would tell the woman what’s going on or she found out. He’s one of those people who get out of everything and it’s not fair.
I’d want to know if I had a boyfriend doing what he’s doing behind my back! I have so much anxiety and feel so low by his abuse. He even called 101 on me after a week of him trying it on with me! My head feels like it’s going to explode and I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t deserve to pretend to be happy whilst I’m drowning and confused. It’s sick he’s doing it to both of us. I’ve told him he needs to tell her the truth but he won’t. He’s too scared of losing her but clearly thinks I’m nothing. I miss the man I thought he was. I never thought he’d treat me like this and go so far as to tell lies to the police to protect his relationship with her.
I’ve got myself in to do much of a mess a part of me feels so self destructive that I feel like telling her anyways despite the fact they’d both go running to the police.
It just also hurts that he’s so immature that he’s involving our kids in this relationship which I can’t see us sustainsbme enough to involve them. If he had a normal relationship with her and wasn’t lying and cheating it would be fine but how can this man think he loves a woman he’s cheated on so much and lied to so much??!
Ugh what should I do? I’m so full of anger and sadness and I want him to finally get what’s coming to him and be found out, otherwise I think katy will carrying on thinking he’s this perfect man whilst he carries on screwing with my head. I feel like I’m barely living at the moment. Just existing. The things he does and says to me

OP posts:
NoBaggyPants · 07/07/2019 14:41

Get some self respect and stop sleeping with someone else's boyfriend. Then get some counselling and work on moving on from this "relationship".

I'm sorry you've had a hard time, but that's no excuse to mess up another woman's relationship.

NoBaggyPants · 07/07/2019 14:44

Wait, haven't you posted about this before? If you've ignored all the advice given before, what's different this time?

Charlie09 · 07/07/2019 14:46

It’s hard to explain but I would never normally sleep with someone else’s boyfriend. I don’t see it like that as we were together for 14 years and have two kids together and I guess I can’t still get over him as he won’t let me and he’s trying to keep me there whilst be with her. I’ve just been hopeful at trying to save my family and hope he’d come back for the kids. I don’t see him and her as being in a relationship as when they got together just after we split up he never told me and was still sleeping with me. It’s hard to explain I guess but it almost feels like she’s the other woman and not me.

OP posts:
LittleDoll · 07/07/2019 14:49

His current gf is the victim here. Stop pretending you are concerned about her and wake up.

The police reports. Fuck me. Can you not see that it's part of his plan? If she comes close to finding out he will probably have you done for harrassment as he has all the messages saying to leave him alone.

He has painted you as a stalker to his gf who wont leave him alone.

LittleDoll · 07/07/2019 14:50

Do you have any proof at all of him encouraging you?? If the police came round now and asked you about the messages could you actually prove you're not hounding him?

NoBaggyPants · 07/07/2019 14:53

No, it's you that is the other woman. Not sure whether you're deluding yourself or trying to excuse your inexcusable behaviour.

The only person that chooses to keep going back to him is you. Make the decision to stop doing it. Have you looked into counselling? It has been suggested before.

TwentyEight12 · 07/07/2019 14:53

I’m afraid it is you who is allowing this man to come back into your life repeatedly, use you, ditch you, use you, ditch you and so the cycle goes on... it’s not that he won’t let you get over him, it’s that you don’t want to get over him.

It will only stop when you want it to stop and you say ‘No’ and refuse to take him up on his invites.

Until then, this saga will continue.

I agree with the previous poster, you appear to have your mind a bit confused as to all your roles in this dynamic and would greatly benefit from some counselling. This cannot be a nice place for you to be in. I sympathise.

TheZazous · 07/07/2019 14:58

Ffs, stop it! You're allowing him to treat you like this Confused

PicsInRed · 07/07/2019 14:58

Given the timing, she probably was the other woman. But that's by the by now.

He's abusive, and loving the drama that he's creating. He is the star of his own tele novela and he gets off on it. He also gets off on - repeatedly - reentering your life to rebreak your heart and undo your recovery. He's sadistic. You need to go as NC as you can, grey rock so that he loses all interest in you (google grey rock and narcissists) and keep communication to absolutely nothing but the very most essential details about the children - serious hospital admissions only, basically.

That's the only way you can recover your life. There's no other way and you need to understand that you can never be friends, coparent or even be a friendly acquaintance to someone like this as he will periodically attempt to draw you back into his drama. Detach. Grey rock. Be invisible to him.

Doyoumind · 07/07/2019 15:03

Wake up. He is a twat. There is nothing he has to offer you even if he did want you back - which he doesn't. Don't fall for it. Forget about him and move on.

cheesychipsandbighips · 07/07/2019 15:09

OP you're obviously in a really bad place to keep going back. I can understand why you don't see him as someone else's partner after such a long relationship but the truth is with someone else now. Even if he wasn't, he sounds bloody awful.

I'm not going to say 'get some self respect' or anything like that because it's horrible to kick someone when they're already down but I do think you need to work on yourself and build up your strength so that you can say a big fat no to this wanker and stick to it. He has nothing to offer you and while you're stuck in that cycle with him then you're missing out on the opportunity to find true happiness either alone or with someone else.

Please please, however hard it feels, learn to say no to him.

Charlie09 · 07/07/2019 15:25

I honestly do see how from the outside looking in how it looks. I constantly do no contact but he gradually finds a way back in .. sometimes without me noticing.
I have tonnes of call logs from him. I have a screenshot of a fake Facebook account he liked a public post of mine from as he also sent me a private pm from this fake account in January. I have messages from when we have been amicable talking normally. I have call logs from him at midnight and the other day he was messaging me abuse at 1am whilst his gf was laid in bed next to him asleep. I have a picture of him leaving my house at 7am when he turned up on the end of my bed when I was asleep at 2am after an argument with his gf. The rest I just have my diary where I log dates of things he’s done. But he’ll call or do most things in person and as I get so wound up I retaliate In a message. So I fall right in to his schemes.
I do need counselling and I do feel worthless as he treats me that way. I know you’ll say I treat myself that way. I m scared if I stand up for myself and say no that he’ll hate me and think I am all the horrible things he says I am. I scared I’ll lose him forever which is stupid I know.
I’m struggling not being a family and I miss my old life. I’m struggling with it all.

OP posts:
category12 · 07/07/2019 15:28

You are part of this cycle. You can stop it.

You need to stop fucking him and stop being such a walkover and utter mug for him.

He sets you up to appear the bunny boiler ex. He messes you around. He treats you like you're nothing. He wants to stay with his girlfriend. He fucks you because he can. He's not a nice person.

You are letting him do this to you.

What do you even want with someone like this, who is such a little dick-led manipulative shitbag?

category12 · 07/07/2019 15:29

Losing him forever is exactly the goal you need to aim for.

readitandwept · 07/07/2019 15:37

Why are you being a bystander in your own life?! You are letting this happen. You cannot place all the blame on him. I mean, how does he even still have access to your house for you to find him at the end of your bed?!

This is not love, not even on your side, or you wouldn't be logging all this evidence - photos and diaries and call logs. It's a fucked up game and you'll never win it.

Charlie09 · 07/07/2019 15:43

I do the logs etc as he makes me feel like I’m going mad making out it’s me so I write it all down and I keep evidence as he started threatening the police etc so I had to have stuff to prove it’s not me.
It does all sound like a fucked up game though. His hg hasn’t been innocent in all this either as I tried to tell her in the past what he’s doing and she’s not listened and I told her as I do want him to stop.
I am stuck in the cycle too. I think I’ll do no contact etc then I let him back in.
When he turned up at night he had a back door key I had no idea he had. I keep asking for my key back and he won’t give it back (house in joint names).
I think I just over analyse and I think that if he breaks no contact it means he still care which is what I stupidly keep hoping he does. I know it’s my issue that it hurts he no longer wants me but when he kisses me I think he must still love me but then he won’t leave her. I feel she must be better than me too and I was a shitty gf for him to not even care or miss me.

OP posts:
TwentyEight12 · 07/07/2019 15:45

If you are saying you are being harassed by him due to your reference to call logs etc, you are able to involve the police in helping you to prevent this and stopping it. The information is on the Internet.

You could, if you chose:

Change your phone numbers and do not give him the new ones. Ask everyone close to you to not give out your new numbers to anyone.

Shut down old email accounts and open two new ones. One you use for everyone else and one you use specifically just for contact between yourself and him regards visitation between yourself and your child. Ask everyone close to you to not give out your email address to anyone if they should ask.

He is able to access your house? I can only assume he has keys. Get all the locks changed and get new keys cut.

Install security cameras.

These are the measures you could take in order to help yourself to be free of him. But it’s your choice.

TeaForTheWin · 07/07/2019 15:53

Google narcissitic personality disorder. And the playing both women is called (narcissistic) triangulation. All these sorts have the same patterns as if they are reading from the same script. They also make use of 'gaslighting' which is when they make you believe you are 'crazy' for calling them out on their shit (eg: 'I never said that, I never did that' to something they just said or did right in front of you).

You need to block all contact and see about getting youselfe a therapist that knows about cluster b personality disorders and can help you with your co-depencey issues.

Sargass0 · 07/07/2019 15:54

The thing is OP- you are very very aware of what is happening so you have the power to stop it.

More importantly you have a choice of what you will allow to happen now.

You are in control and right now you do have a choice not to be a victim anymore.

testingtesting111 · 07/07/2019 16:08

You really need to get some self respect for yourself and your kids.

Why are you so desperate for the girlfriend to know you're sleeping with what is essentially her boyfriend? I'm guessing that deep down you hope she will ends things so he comes back to you?

To be blunt, if he wanted to be with you he would be. From what you have said it doesn't sound like he even really likes you. If he did, he wouldn't treat you like this.

testingtesting111 · 07/07/2019 16:09

Oh and change the locks, that will stop him appearing at the end of your bed in the night.

Charlie09 · 07/07/2019 16:15

That’s what he says.. that he doesn’t like me, I disgust him etc. Then we do no contact and he’s like ‘I miss your body etc’. He does say he’d never get back with me but then it is mixed signals as he’s then being nice and calling etc so I clearly read it wrong and think it means he must still love me. This all would have been easier had he just moved on and left me alone but he hasn’t and I feel sorry for the children. I wish he was a better person/ dad. I never wanted a broken home and that upsets me the most.
I want her to know as I want her to know what he’s putting me through whilst he’s off playing happy families with her and her kids. Why isn’t she getting his anger and name calling? I feel she’s getting the best of him and e says that’s because it’s my fault and I bring out the worse in him.

OP posts:
KeepFuckingOff · 07/07/2019 16:20

He just loves having two women who want him and he knows you’ll lap up his bullshit every single time. He doesn’t give a fuck about you, you’re just another hole to fuck and a device to massage is ever inflating ego.
Block his number. Open a new email account and only use it for contact to do with the children, anything he emails re: you and him totally and completely ignore.
Move on with your life and stop feeding this emotionally abusive fuckwit.

Charlie09 · 07/07/2019 16:29

Tbf he doesn’t email me or message me... it’s all in person as that’s how devious he is.
I do need counselling and I’m trying to get some. I’ve just been so low with being left with everything to deal with on my own and he barely has the kids so he does what he wants when he wants and I have no life other than my kids (not that I’m ready for dating). I do need hobbies etc to try and get out if the hole I’m in. I don’t even even respect myself so I can’t exkect him to. I hate everything about me.
I just feel he’s so smug and I hate he comes out smelling of roses and he never gets any karma. He goes through life treating people like they’re nothing.
The last time I gave in I had the flu and bronchitis so I was feeling low and let me guard down. I need to fight through those low points but without family around to help it is hard and I dwell and get upset.
Tbh I just wish his new gf gave him a taste of is own medicine. I’ve aleays been too much of a push over and too nice. I hope she gives him shit one day so he knows how it feels but men like him tend to go for women like me so I guess she’ll be the same. She’s already stuck around through shit most women wouldn’t tolerate.

OP posts:
Charlie09 · 07/07/2019 16:42

How do I let go of all the hurt and missing him/ being a family? How do people get through that? And also the rejection of not being good enough 😢 and letting go of the anger of all the horrible things he’s done and said?

OP posts: