Hi, I desperately need advice as I’m going out my mind. My ex has been with someone else for ten months and throughout that time he’s been playing me too. It’s an ongoing cycle of him wanting sex with me, me saying no until finally I give in and he carries on until I’m then emotionally attached again, beg for us to be back as a family and then he texts saying ‘never contact me again’. This cycle has been repeated over and over. I stop contact and after a month he breaks it and the cycle goes on.
He’s so vile to me saying he doesn’t want to be with me and he loves her but won’t explsin why he keeps coming back to me and cheating on her. He’s gone so far as contact the police to stop me ever contacting her to tell him what he’s been doing. I’ve told her in the past and she’s not believed me and believes his lies.
Last week was what sent my head spinning. He kissed me and met up with me mid week and tried it on about three times in one week. He kept calling me etc but as I then said I think we need to chat and sort out what’s really going on he went mental. I opened up to him about how I was feeling and he threw it all back in my face. Up until then he had given me hope saying ‘I don’t know how he’s feeling about everything and it’s none of your business’ but he seems to do everything to protect his relationship with her and says if he wanted me he’d come back but he doesn’t and would never come back. I said his actions speak differently to his words as he makes out he loves her but lies and cheats on her. Says he hates me and doesn’t think about me or us and yet constantly tries it on with me. He’s miserable like me when we do no contact but when we have contact he gets stressed and anxious as he thinks I’ll tell his girlfriend! He’ll even text me ‘I don’t want you to contact me agsin’ If I’ve text and then he’ll call me to talk?! (So he can show people the text that looks like he’s asking me to leave him alone).
I’m getting to the point where it’s unfair his smug girlfriend thinks she living a fairytale with him (their words) yet he’s abusing the mother of his children behind her back and living another life! He’s made it so I hate her and she hates me. I just wish someone would tell the woman what’s going on or she found out. He’s one of those people who get out of everything and it’s not fair.
I’d want to know if I had a boyfriend doing what he’s doing behind my back! I have so much anxiety and feel so low by his abuse. He even called 101 on me after a week of him trying it on with me! My head feels like it’s going to explode and I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t deserve to pretend to be happy whilst I’m drowning and confused. It’s sick he’s doing it to both of us. I’ve told him he needs to tell her the truth but he won’t. He’s too scared of losing her but clearly thinks I’m nothing. I miss the man I thought he was. I never thought he’d treat me like this and go so far as to tell lies to the police to protect his relationship with her.
I’ve got myself in to do much of a mess a part of me feels so self destructive that I feel like telling her anyways despite the fact they’d both go running to the police.
It just also hurts that he’s so immature that he’s involving our kids in this relationship which I can’t see us sustainsbme enough to involve them. If he had a normal relationship with her and wasn’t lying and cheating it would be fine but how can this man think he loves a woman he’s cheated on so much and lied to so much??!
Ugh what should I do? I’m so full of anger and sadness and I want him to finally get what’s coming to him and be found out, otherwise I think katy will carrying on thinking he’s this perfect man whilst he carries on screwing with my head. I feel like I’m barely living at the moment. Just existing. The things he does and says to me