When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I was in a relationship with a very unpleasant young man.
He called me fat, thick, was horrible about my family, hated my friends. Sneered at my hobbies.
He put a lot of pressure on me to marry him. When I said we were too young, he was furious and accused me of not loving him enough. I come from a family where getting married before university would be unthinkable, but he had me doubting myself.
He put a lot of pressure on me to have sex. He would go on and on and on about it. He would bombard me with text messages and phone calls, growing increasingly angry and pushy, until I would give in just to keep the peace. He would refuse to use a condom, but I wasn't on the pill so ended up terrified of pregnancy.
He would mess me around - once I stood for an hour waiting for him to show up at an agreed meeting place.
He would be sexually inappropriate in public--he would try to "make out" in the middle of the street when I was holding my two year old nephew's hand - like proper snogging with tongues and arse grabbing. He would be furious if I said no, would sulk and say I didn't love him.
He tried to get me to have sex with him in inappropriate places eg against the wall in the front hallway when my parents were watching TV. He would grab me/try to put his fingers up me all the time, if I was in the kitchen making a cuppa for example.
He had awful ideas about some things--believed premature babies should be left to die rather than have resources spent on them
Called me a slut for wearing make up and going out with friends.
I was 15 and he was 17 when we started going out, 20 and 22 when we broke up.
I really feel he blighted precious years for me. I didn't do so many things I could have done, for fear of pissing him off. I missed out on holidays with friends, nights out, I felt I never had the freedom to pursue my own interests or develop my own personality, because everything was dominated by what he would think and say. We never even lived together. I didn't do as well as I should have in my education as a result. He hated me doing well. I developed severe anxiety as a result of his behaviour, and it took me a long time to build up confidence afterwards.
I have only told the full story to a few people, and I get the feeling that they think I am overreacting, as it was "only" a teenage relationship and we never even lived together. I don't think they can quite believe that a boy of 17 or 18 could be manipulative and controlling, and instead frame it as him being a horny and insensitive teen boy. Maybe they are right, I don't know. Maybe I was just weak and stupid.