Signs your ex wouldn’t visit DC

[Liveforever]

I have a question for any of you single parents out there, were the ever signs before you separated from your ex that they would go NC with your DC or have irregular contact?

DD's dad said as soon as I got pregnant that he had changed his mind (we'd been planning and TTC) and I should get rid of the baby and he never wanted to see it if I kept the baby

DS's dad is subject to his own thread on here as he is a great dad to his other 3 kids and his 4 stepchildren. Short relationship went wrong and DS was a surprise. He placed a lot of pride in his relationship with his DC and DSC. Would like to offer him contact but not sure hence the other thread.

So in summary, both gave no signs of rampant arseholery

Until too late I mean

Then the arseholery was clear

Soon as I met someone else the ex changed. He is still in contact with dcs but no where near as much as he used to be. He just wanted me back and once he realised that wasn't going to happen...he changed.

He states that he finds it 'hell on earth' living 120 miles away from his kids. Yet barely speaks to them between seeing them and shows very little interest. Ds is also autistic which he has no involvement with. In all honesty there are a burden in his life. But he hasn't gone NC yet. I imagine he will when dcs get older. He still lives at home with his parents and they wouldn't allow him to go NC

Not at the time. Not even particularly in retrospect.
He did night feeds, he took ds to baby groups, he seemed interested and involved. He worked part time and from 10 months until the day he walked out when DS was 23 months was his main care giver I suppose.
What I now know, looking back, and because of my DS's diagnosis, is that ex is almost certainly autistic. It doesn't give excuses, but helps me to understand why he ran away from his children (I was pregnant).
I was also the one driving everything I suppose. Asking him to do the night feed, or to do the baby group etc. He didn't really do anything unless I organised/asked.
But those are only things I can clutch at in hindsight.

Oh I've completely misread the question

Signs that he may go NC...neither of the dcs were planned. He wasn't that fussed I was pregnant. He was and still is the laziest person you could ever meet. He would do things for the dcs but i has to guide him through everything. Had no initiative to do anything for them. Then ds showed signs of autism and again....nothing. He was just completely unphased. Not upset. Not anything. It was then I realised he really wasn't bothered about the dcs.

He cheated on me while I was pregnant and continued to message other women until the end of the relationship. He was also a porn addict.

My parents were convinced it would be NC after a while when we split. It's now been 5 years. Like I said earlier, not NC but I predict it will get that way when the dcs become teens

Not one sign at all.

He was devoted to DD. Did more nappy changes the first year than I did. Utterly adored her, took her for a walk for an hr after work everyday to give me a break. Too massive pride in his relationship with her. Lasted 3 years after we split. Never missed one day. Called every evening before bed. Actively involved in her life.

He hasn’t seen her for 5 months now. Blocked all contact, doesn’t call or text. Had her name tattooed over with something else.

She was, she is, heartbroken. I’ve never known pain like a child sobbing that daddy doesn’t see her anymore. I fully intend to make it my life work to haunt that fucker until the day he dies

@PrinceArchie I'm so sorry that he did that. Reading that breaks my heart so bless you and that little princess. What an utter utter ball-less wanker! This makes me thibk I'm doing the right thing by letting my sons dad go NC now while he's a baby cos if he did it when he was older, I don't want him hurt like that cos it's beyond cruel

@soconfusedandlost , it is by far the most awful thing I’ve ever witnessed. I can honestly say I’ve never hated anyone in my life but this “man” (I’m loath to call him that) comes very very close.

Keep your little one close x

@PrinceArchie I hope you do haunt that shitty excuse for a human till the end for hurting that poor girl.

FYI did you know that if you slash all 4 tyres, the insurance pays as its seen as vandalism but less than 4 means the car owner has to replace it themselves under most standard car insurance policies. Random facts are fun

Wow @PrinceArchie that's shocking. Your poor child. To change so dramatically after so long is beyond strange.

Mine isn't NC, but down to seeing them once a week. I don't think he even speaks to them every day any more. Signs? He's never been that interested in the day to day stuff, just the fun bits. He wanted to go back early off paternity leave because 'it's a bit boring'. I suspect if I stopped making them go round for contact he'd bluster and threaten but wouldn't really fight for them.

@PrinceArchie I’m so sorry to hear that, your poor DD, going from a daddy that is so loving to nothing at all what a b*stard. Must be so heartbreaking to see your girl hurting so much. My stbxh is very hands off with our DD, I mean he’d forget to give her water or change her nappy unless i remind him and she is under 1.

@PrinceArchie that's awful! What made him change so suddenly?

I’ve had threads on MN under different names about the whole thing. I don’t really want to rehash the ins and outs but he met someone new, left DDs stepmum and just gradually stopped seeing DD. It all blew up over the course of a month and one day she went to call him and was blocked. She’s been blocked ever since. I’ve begged, pleaded, threatened and done everything else I could do to get him to see her. He won’t even engage.

I bumped into the pair of them in a garage and blocked them in and knocked on his window. Asked him through the glass to please please call DD and he drove off whilst the thing he is with called me a wanker out of the window and laughed.

This was all a few months ago now and every day DD gets a bit better