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Relationships

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Friend wanting to date while we're on holiday together

31 replies

Dieu · 06/07/2019 13:28

Hi. I am abroad for a week with a close friend. So far, so good. We get on well and are having a really nice break. We are both single and have been active on the dating scene; she more than I, due to her having fewer work commitments and more free time from her children. And I decided a while back to have a break from online dating anyway.
Since getting here, she has downloaded local Tinder on her phone. She has asked me if I'd be interested in her organising a double date with a local man and his friend. Frankly, I can't be bothered. This isn't what I came on holiday for.
Don't get me wrong, I would be more than happy for her to go on a date. I'm content enough in my own company, and could go for walks or snuggle up with my Kindle. No problem there. But she's saying she won't go unless I go too Confused
I don't want to be a stick in the mud, but I don't fancy it. And even if she did go alone, would she really be happy with just the one date? We had a few days' away together 18 months or so ago, and her love life was quite a dominant feature throughout, as she organised a date there and obsessed afterwards.
I love my friend, and during the OLD process we have been invaluable confidantes to each other, but am I right in thinking that mates come before dates on holiday?!

OP posts:
unboxingsoon · 06/07/2019 18:44

@Caucho, well, friendships aren't about what you ''have to do''. She's not contractually obliged to do something her friend would like to do obviously but if her friend would like to do this and she would like to not do it and they do it once, then that's just doing something you don't really want to do (but might enjoy who knows) to please a friend. I went on a camel ride to please my friend and the camel sneezed on me, so give me a double date over that. But I'm fairly brave meeting new people, it wouldn't be a nightmare for me. I'd just go, chat, come home. Wouldn't ''drain'' me. But I suppose I am probably extravert.

ChanelGabriellHobo · 06/07/2019 18:46

@sqeakywheel blimey you're leaping from date to sex very quickly there Shock Not all dates = sex

Wherearemymarbles · 06/07/2019 19:07

Sounds like she’s a dating addict!!
And its bloody unfair to be expected to chat to someone for a few hours, whom you have no interest in, just so she can get her leg over!

user1479305498 · 06/07/2019 19:11

I think it’s really rude and piss poor manners to be honest, it’s different if you are out and meet people by chance but to actively seek it is a no no in my opinion

Caucho · 06/07/2019 20:07

I don’t think reluctantly agreeing to go on a camel ride is comparable to having a date foisted on you with some randoms myself. Like I said earlier it’s better to be on the same page. I’ve been on holidays with only one friend myself, both single and if we end up chatting to women I’ll either enthusiastically embrace it for my own ends or play ‘wingman’ when I’m not interested but don’t want to ruin his chances. If he or I pull we would say good luck without bitterness as the OP seems to be but there is now way I’d be dragged on joint tinder dates and just be a prop. This is also just two people heading out naturally and if something happens it happens. This Tinder stuff is different for me at least

Caucho · 06/07/2019 20:17

Also how do does one organise a joint tinder date anyway? Appreciate I’m naive but is it established in advance that this man is for her and his friend for the other friend? Could get a bit awkward if both men were just chasing the one girl and vice versa. Imagine how much shit the OP would get if they both said they didn’t fancy the friend and were all over her. Would be funny in the circumstances but I’m too old and fuddy duddy for online double dating abroad where one person is being dragged along

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